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“Oh, sweetheart, I’m so sorry. I never wanted this life for you,” she said as she touched my cheek. “I won’t pretend that I didn’t see Armageddon and that a hybrid would be the key to stopping it.”
“Was I planned? Did you only have me for that purpose?” I whispered, the words like lead in my mouth as my stomach knotted, fear coursing through me.
“Lily…” Her face was pained, her lips drawn tight as her brow creased.
I searched those soft green eyes, already knowing the truth. And it pained me like nothing else.
“Yes, originally, that was why. But I also fell for your father. It started as a way to save the world, but then I fell in love, and when you were born… I wanted so badly to give you a normal life,” she said, her lower lip trembling as her eyes started to glisten. “I wanted to pretend my visions weren’t true. I’d never thought the miracle of birth would change me as much as it did, but you,” she cupped my face in both her hands as she smiled, “you became my world. You changed my purpose, opened my eyes and life to so much more. Having you was the greatest blessing I could have wished for, and I prayed that my visions were wrong. That you would have a good, normal life, that you’d find love.”
I sobbed as tears trailed down her cheeks, and she pulled me tight against her.
“I’m so sorry, Lily. I didn’t want this for you, please know that. From the moment I first saw you, heard you cry, and held you in my arms, I wanted to protect you from everything, from the truth of the world.” Her voice broke as her arms tightened around my shoulders, crushing me against her.
“But I’m the hybrid, mom, that’s what I am,” I whimpered, and she just shook her head, as if she could make it untrue. “My hellhounds came when you died, they protected me and looked after me. They’ve protected me. Your ring… it guided me.”
“As much as I wanted my visions to prove wrong, I knew if they came true, I had to leave things for you, to give you the best chance possible. If they came true, then you had to survive. I had to make sure of that,” she said, her body now shaking. “I did everything I could to protect you even in my passing. I took that Prince with me, and I made sure to leave a part of myself in the ring. I foresaw your father obtaining it and getting it back to you.”
I wanted to be upset, to get angry at her about how she’d known Baal would try to sacrifice me, how she’d chosen to birth me for this grand purpose, but right now, all I wanted was her back. To forget it all and just be here with her, to hold her and pretend everything was okay.
I had my mother back, and that was all that mattered.
And as she shook, mumbling apologies, I knew everything she’d said was true. She loved me, more than I could understand. She’d done her duty to God as an angel, but my birth had changed everything for her.
“Your Heaven, it’s with me?” I sniffled as she finally loosened her hold. I turned my head to gaze at the young version of me, who sat on the swing, staring at the garden. It was like she couldn’t even see me.
“Yes, my Heaven is giving you a normal human life, free from all this. Free from the impending Armageddon, just you, being happy,” she said as she wiped her eyes and glanced over my shoulder. “Who’s your friend?”
Fuck, I’d completely forgotten all about Thomas.
I turned around as I rubbed my eyes, and Thomas just gave us an awkward wave.
“This is Thomas, he was at Everwood Academy with me, but he…” I bit my lip, unsure how to explain what had happened.
“I died in the attack, Baal came for Lily,” Thomas said sheepishly as he walked the few steps to stand before us.
“Baal…” My mother’s voice was like shattered glass as I turned to her, her expression distraught. “So he did come for you.”
“I survived, I killed him, and my angel side woke up,” I said, and she nodded sadly. “Right, you saw that.”
“I’m so sorry, Lily. If I could change it, I would, please know that,” she said, her voice wavering.
I searched her eyes, seeing the sheer pain and agony in them. She’d truly not wanted this for me.
“It’s okay, mom, really,” I said as I hugged her again. “Really, I get it. And I still love you, nothing will change that.” Sure, a part of me was hurt, but she’d died for me. This was a chance I’d not waste by being upset about something out of both of our control.
“So you’re here to find Michael,” she said after a few moments of holding me.
“Yes, Jackiel said he’d be the one to speak to.”
My mother nodded as she drew in a sharp breath.
“Yes, he was the leader of all archangels, managing the troops of angels as well. He is a pure angel, he will not go against God’s plan, he’s incorruptible, and he’ll help you,” she confirmed.
“Can you help me get to him?” I asked, and she softened.
“Of course, sweetheart. I can help you find him.” Her smile eased the nerves that threatened to overwhelm me. I wanted to just sit here and talk with her, to enjoy the moment.
“Thank you.”
