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‘And it’s really over?’
‘Yes, it really is. Sadly, though, I don’t think that makes any difference to your mother.’
‘But, Dad, you can’t just let it go like that! She’s clearly so hurt, and desperately trying not to seem like it – you know what she’s like.’
Robin looked at his daughter, knowing that she was right. ‘I’m not sure she wants me to stay. Not now. After everything that’s happened, I just don’t think she can forgive me.’
Flora fixed him with a stare. ‘Look, after everything that’s happened you have even more reason to make sure you change her mind. You need to show her that you’re sorry, that you want to make things better.’
‘She doesn’t seem to want to try.’
‘Dad, that doesn’t mean she doesn’t want you to try.’ Flora rolled her eyes.
‘Right.’ He took another sip of his whisky.
‘And I tell you what, if Billy were here he’d be telling you to do the same thing. To do something rather than nothing.’ Flora held her father’s eye.
‘I know he would.’
‘He’d also be furious with you.’
‘I know that too.’
They looked at each other for a moment. Flora smiled at her father. ‘It’s not too late, Dad.’
Robin sighed. ‘I hope you’re right.’
* * *
Kate sat in the bath hugging her knees. The water was lukewarm, the bubbles long gone. She could just about hear their voices below, the words muffled but the tone unmistakable. Flora was clearly giving her father a talking-to.
Kate felt drained. Her limbs ached, her eyes were heavy. She closed them for a second, seeing the courtroom once again. It had been such a strange day, the functionality of it all at odds with the emotions she’d had to keep in check.
Seeing the man who’d killed her son for the first time in the flesh had been harder than she could have possibly imagined. He’d looked so normal, not the monster Kate had imagined at all. In fact, he was still a boy really, and he had looked so lost and scared. And seeing the woman she assumed was his mother, the back of her at least, sitting there, seemingly not taking her eyes off her son for even a second, was almost unbearable. It made the whole sorry story feel like such a waste.
Kate pulled the plug and stepped out of the bath, wrapping herself in a warm white towel. She crossed the bathroom into the bedroom and sat on the edge of their bed, reaching for her nightgown and putting it gently over her head. There, in a frame on the bedside table, was a picture of Flora and Billy as small children, sitting in a sea of daffodils. She’d taken that picture one sunny day in their garden, down near the river. Robin was just out of shot and the grins on the children’s faces were directed at him, clowning around for Kate to get the perfect picture. Kate could remember the sound of their laughter, fits of pure giggles, even now. Moments afterwards, Robin had grabbed the camera and taken some pictures of Kate, smiling into the camera. One of them sat framed on his bedside table, his favourite photo, as he often told her.
She reached for the picture, picking it up and holding it in her lap. Their life together had been so happy, for the most part. How could he have betrayed her like that?
Monty poked his nose around the door and, at her call, came trotting across the bedroom. She reached down to pick him up.
‘Come on, then.’ She put him in the middle of the bed, where he promptly circled a few times before settling down into his perfected position, curled up with his paws crossed. He looked up at her, his brown eyes sad. She stroked the top of his head, his coat gloriously soft. ‘You’re not helping, Monty.’
There was a gentle knock at the door. ‘Mum?’
Kate looked up to see Flora standing there, holding a mug. ‘Come in.’
‘I brought you some hot water and lemon.’ Flora walked over to put it down on the table next to Kate. She spotted the picture in her mother’s hand. ‘Oh, Mum.’ Flora sat down next to her mother and put her arm around her shoulders. ‘I’m so sorry. It must have been awful for you today.’
‘It really was, Flora.’ Kate finally let herself cry the tears she’d been holding back all day. ‘It just made everything seem such a dreadful, dreadful waste. All of it.’ She sighed. ‘And I don’t understand why it had to happen to us. I mean, it could have been anyone. Why did it have to be Billy?’ Kate looked at Flora, tears streaking her face.
‘I don’t know, Mum. I wish I knew, too.’ Flora hugged her tightly.
‘And seeing that man. Well, boy really.’ Kate took a deep breath. ‘He looked so… normal.’
‘Mum, like you said, this doesn’t bring Billy back. But at least the trial is done.’ Flora took the picture from her mother’s hands, studying it. ‘He looks so happy there.’ She looked at Billy’s face, his head back, laughing. ‘He was beautiful.’ She placed it back on the bedside table. ‘Mum, can I just ask one thing of you?’
Kate wiped her eyes. ‘Yes, of course.’
