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She felt she owed him an explanation. ‘I’m going to meet someone, actually. The mother of the boy who… well, the one who’s in prison.’
Mack looked at her over his glasses. ‘Right.’
‘It’s just that I saw her a while ago, from a distance. And she looked so sad. I don’t quite know why, but I just feel a need to talk to her. Her son’s in prison still, but I’m meeting her tomorrow near where she lives.’
Mack put his cup of coffee down on the counter. ‘Flora, you know she might not give you the answers you’re looking for.’
‘I know, and I’m not looking for answers really. I just want to understand things a bit more. Maybe.’
‘Flora, I say this as someone who knows, so please take it as I mean it. Bad things happen and unfortunately, especially for people like us, who’ve lost people we love too early, some things can never be explained.’
Flora sat down on the stool by the tasting counter. She closed her eyes for a moment. ‘Mack, can I ask what happened to Jamie? I keep wondering why we’ve never talked about it. Is it still too painful?’
There was a pause. ‘Leukaemia. Acute myeloid leukaemia, to be precise, which is very rare but, sadly for Jamie, incurable back in those days. It came on so quickly, we hadn’t really noticed anything other than him feeling more tired than usual. By the time it was discovered, there wasn’t much we could do about it. It was just a question of time.’
‘Oh, Mack, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.’
‘Don’t apologise; I didn’t tell you. I haven’t really talked about it much since Elizabeth died. It took us a long time to learn to live with it. He was so young.’ Mack sighed. ‘But it’s a question of accepting it rather than trying to understand it.’ He shook his head. ‘I spent years making that mistake.’
‘I know what you’re saying makes sense, but it doesn’t make it any easier.’
‘It won’t, not yet, anyway. You don’t wake up and suddenly everything has fallen into place. But one day, if you want it to, it’ll find you.’
‘What will?’
‘Forgiveness.’
‘Mack, I can’t forgive what happened to Billy. That boy killed him. I don’t see how I can ever forgive that.’ Flora’s voice shook slightly.
‘You don’t have to forgive anything if you don’t want to. But forgiveness isn’t the same as permission.’
‘You know, when we were in Venice, I was lighting a candle for Billy, and a woman standing next to me was lighting one for her brother. And she said hearts stay broken.’
Mack nodded his head. ‘I think she’s right. But you learn to live with it.’
‘Yes, she said it gets easier to bear. I can hear her saying now. So, do you think meeting his mother is a mistake?’
‘Not if that’s what you want to do, no.’
Flora thought about it for a moment, then drained her cup. ‘I think I want to go.’
‘Then go.’ Mack shooed her away with his hand, smiling.
She stood and went to grab her coat. ‘Thanks, Mack, I’ll see you later.’
‘Yes, see you later.’ The bell tinkled as she left the shop. Mack found it heart-breaking watching Flora searching for something to ease the pain. But he knew, more than most, there was little he or anyone could do to help. It was just a matter of giving it time.
* * *
Susie sat alone on the bench, watching the children as they clambered over climbing frames and flew as high as they possibly could on swings in the adventure playground. ‘Mummy, Mummy, watch!’ came the cry, seemingly every five seconds.
‘Hello, you.’ Tilda grinned as she swiftly took a seat beside Susie. ‘Go on, kids! Snacks after.’ She shooed her own children away. ‘So, you want the good news or the bad news first?’
Susie braced herself. ‘Bad.’
‘OK, well – and I think you already knew this, Suse – he’s definitely up to no good.’ Tilda put her hand on Susie’s arm. ‘I’m so sorry.’
Susie sat up straight, breathing what sounded more like a sigh of relief than one of shock. ‘And the good news?’ Susie fixed Tilda with her enormous eyes, her dark hair pulled back into its usual sleek ponytail.
