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‘Darlings!’ Kate turned from where she stood by the Aga, throwing her arms open. ‘I am so pleased to see you.’ She crossed the kitchen and wrapped her arms tightly around Flora.
‘Hi, Mum,’ Flora said, her voice muffled by Kate’s bright scarf. As she took in her mother’s familiar scent, felt the softness of her cheek against her own, she was suddenly overwhelmed by how pleased she was to see her. Flora had braced herself for more tears or, even worse, silence. Instead, there was nothing but love and a kitchen filled with the delicious, unmistakable smell of a Sunday roast. ‘How are you?’
‘Very well. Darling,’ she called over to Robin, ‘can you give everyone a glass? And look at you two!’ Pip and Tom stood beside Flora, smiles on their faces as instructed. ‘You’ve grown since I last saw you! Haven’t they grown?’ She looked at Flora.
‘Mum, it hasn’t been that long…’
‘Long enough. Now come on, let’s hear what you’ve been up to. How’s everything at the shop?’
‘Actually, pretty good. We’re thinking about opening up a small café next year. Well, not really a café, more a kind of snack bar so you can take your food and have it outside with a glass of something. We saw something like it in Venice and it got us thinking… Anyway, how about you?’ Flora looked across at her father pouring out a glass of the Crémant for them all. She looked back at her mother. ‘Is everything… OK?’
Kate lowered her voice. ‘I think it will be. We’ll talk about it later. You and I can walk down to the river for a bit of air after lunch.’
They sat and feasted on slow-roast lamb, Robin topping up Johnny’s glass with a particularly good Rioja Reserva at regular intervals, given that Flora was the designated driver. Then followed a bowl of Barbados cream dolloped on top of baked plums, the warm spices filling the kitchen as they cooked.
Her parents seemed almost back to normal, much to Flora’s surprise. She found herself relieved and unnerved all at the same time.
After lunch, as they walked down to the river, the children running ahead, Flora was finally able to talk to her mother alone.
‘Mum, how are you really? How are you and Dad?’
‘Well, it’s not been easy, as I’m sure you gathered. But,’ Kate took a deep breath, ‘I did listen to what you said.’
Flora tried to remember. ‘Um, what did I say exactly?’
‘Well, you suggested I gave him a chance to explain, at least.’
‘And?’ Flora looked up, seeing Johnny and her father walking ahead, her father’s walk slow and familiar.
‘I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to forgive what he did but I do believe him when he says it won’t happen again. And how sorry he is. We were both at fault in our own ways. We lost each other for a while, maybe took each other for granted. But to be honest,’ Kate sighed, ‘I’ve loved him for too long to let him go now.’
Flora felt relief flood through her. She hugged her mother tightly. ‘Oh, Mum, I’m so pleased.’
Kate put her hands to her daughter’s face. ‘We’ve all been through so much. I just want to try and start enjoying the time we have again.’
They walked on ahead, catching up with the others at the riverbank. Together they stood for a moment, watching the tide coming in, the gulls wheeling overhead.
Flora stood with her arm through her mother’s. ‘Billy loved swimming in this river.’
Kate looked at her daughter. ‘You miss him, don’t you, darling?’
‘So much it hurts.’ Flora looked up at the sky. She thought of Ruby. They’d messaged a few times since the memorial; Flora couldn’t bear the thought of how Ruby had glimpsed a future with Billy, only to have it taken away. She hoped that one day Ruby might want to meet up properly. Flora thought they could be friends. ‘Mum, I have to tell you something and I hope you won’t be cross.’ Flora looked at her mother. ‘I met up with Stephen Hirst’s mother, Denise.’
Kate looked blank for a moment, then her eyes widened with surprise as she realised who Flora was talking about.
‘When?’
‘A few weeks ago. I wanted to tell you, but in person, to explain.’
Kate looked out at the river. ‘You know, it’s fine, Flora. I’m realising that we all need to deal with this in our own way. And that might not be the same way, but if that’s what you needed to do, then that’s OK with me.’
‘Really?’
‘Yes, really.’ Kate nodded slowly. ‘So, what was she like?’
‘Sad.’ Flora sighed. ‘Really, really sad. She was also sorry, said she hoped he’d live a better life when he comes out of prison. You know, I think you might like to meet her one day.’
‘Maybe. Just not yet.’ Kate tucked a stray strand of hair behind her daughter’s ear. ‘You know, we still have each other. And he’ll always be with us, just not right here.’
