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I rested my head against his chest and said, “I wouldn’t dream of leaving this bed tonight.”
“Good.” He stroked the hair back from my face and cupped my chin in his strong hand, turning my face to look up at him. His heart was thudding in my ear as I traced designs onto his chest.
I smiled up at him and he smiled back at me.
“You know, I have wanted you for a very long time…” I nibbled my lip shyly.
“Oh yeah? Well, let me just tell you, the feeling was definitely mutual.”
“I always thought so, I just wondered why you never made a move on me before.”
“Well. it’s complicated,” he said, his face turning serious for a moment. “I mean, it was always the three of us, Duncan, you and me, and I thought that might make things weird for Duncan, you know, like we kind of talked about.”
I nodded, remembering the conversation well. It was brief, and we had pretended it was a completely fake scenario, a “What if…” where we both joked about a future together. But it all seemed so ridiculous, I never knew if he had meant it or if it had been another one of his jokes.
“Also…” he averted his gaze.
“What?” I sat up, feeling his body tense underneath me. This time I cupped his chin and forced him to look at me. “What’s wrong, Alex?”
“Well, for one thing, your parents would have never approved of you dating someone like me.”
“My parents don’t get to decide who I date. They have never had that power over me.”
“Yeah, but you know…”
I knew Alex felt bad about his humble upbringing compared to mine, but it had never bothered me.
I stroked his cheek, knowing that the more we talked about this, the worse he’d feel. There was no changing the fact that Alex came from poverty and my family, for most of my life, was considered wealthy.
Not wanting to focus too much on our different upbringings, I smiled and brought back the more pleasant memories.
“Remember when we talked about, you know, what if we could be together. That little game we played. You said you wanted a herd of fluffy, white dogs and exactly five goats. Why five?”
Alex laughed, and I had accomplished exactly what I had intended by changing the subject - bringing back that gorgeous smile of his.
“I don’t know, it just seemed so crazy of a dream at the time, that I was pulling stuff out of my ass. You said you wanted twelve kids, all named Alex, both the boys and girls, remember?”
I laughed. “Yeah, I remember alright.” I fell next to him, and Alex turned to face me, wrapping his arms around me and holding me close. “I do want kids, maybe not twelve, but I would like children. Do you really want goats and fluffy white dogs?”
His smile wavered a bit and he was quiet. “I don’t know what I want to be honest.”
Just like that, the smile was gone. I stroked his face and tried to bring it back, to no avail, until my eyes simply couldn't stay open a moment longer. I fell asleep in his arms, and prayed that the next day, he’d feel better. That whatever was bothering him wouldn’t feel so bleak after a good night’s sleep.
The next morning, I felt the warm sunshine streaming in from the windows. I opened my eyes and blinked a few times, unsure of where I was at first. It took me a second to remember the night before, and a smile lit up my face immediately as I turned in the bed.
The spot next to me was empty.
I sat up and called out, “Alex?”
No answer. No sounds coming from the bathroom. I stood up and was walking to the bathroom when I spotted an envelope with my name written on the front. My heart dropped as I opened it up.
Sorry for leaving you so abruptly, Grace, but I didn’t want to wake you. I had an early flight this morning. I have reserved the room for an extra day, so sleep as late as you want, there’s no rush to leave. It was good seeing you again.
Alex
A knot formed in my throat. It was so… well, not what I was expecting. It felt so cold and distant. After what had happened the night before, I would have expected more than just a note saying goodbye. Tears filled my eyes, and my hands were shaking when I dug through my purse and pulled out my phone. I dialed Alex’s number and waited.
No answer.
