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Anna sighed and stopped, causing me to nearly run into her. “Listen, Levi. We need to talk.”
“I’m all ears,” I said, crossing my arms in front of me.
“We need to cool things down between us.”
“So you don’t want to keep pretending?”
“No, not that… the real stuff. The emotions, the–well, the sex.” She lowered her voice as she said the last bit. “I fear things are getting a little too intimate, too–”
She trailed off, but I finished her sentence for her. “Real. You fear it’s getting too real.”
“Yes, that. We both know I’m not sticking around here, and I think we’re getting in too deep.” Anna finally looked up and met my eyes.
It felt like someone had their hands around my heart, squeezing it. My throat felt like it was closing, and I couldn’t speak for a moment or two.
But I had to agree with her.
As much as I didn’t want to, I knew I had to agree with her.
“I know, I agree.”
Because I couldn’t stop her from living her dream.
On the inside, I was screaming, Tell her you’re falling in love with her. Tell her you’ve never met anyone like her. Tell her the truth, Levi.
But I knew what kind of pressure that would put on her, and I didn’t want to do that to her.
“I’m glad we’re on the same page,” she said, averting her gaze yet again. “Because if we continue down the path we’re on, it will be harder later… I couldn’t handle a long-distance relationship on top of the internship. It’s going to be a hard two years if I get it. Long hours, always on-call, little chance to come home…”
“I know,” I said. My fists clenched at my sides as I fought the urge to beg her to give us a chance. I heard what she was saying. I knew what was important to her. I couldn’t complicate things for her. “So what does this mean for our arrangement?”
“Well… If you’re okay with it, I would like to keep that up.” She bit her lip and stared at me as if she expected me to say no.
I nodded. I didn’t trust myself to really say anything at that point.
“We just need to cool it on the sex, and if we aren’t in front of people… we act casual. No kissing. No touching. No flirting.”
Each word tightened my throat even more.
“Sure, okay, fine,” I said. I knew my words were filled with tension, but I couldn’t help it. I ran a hand through my hair and stared off into the distance. “Whatever you want, Anna.”
“It’s not just what I want, Levi. It’s what’s best for us.”
“Yeah, I get it.”
And I did get it.
I just didn’t agree.
Anna took my hands in hers, surprising me for a second, but out of the corner of my eye, I caught sight of my sister walking toward us.
“Levi!” my sister squealed. “Can we talk for a second? I’m sorry, Anna, I promise to bring him right back.”
“Sure. I’m going to find my mom,” she told her. “She’s probably at the craft pavilion, knowing her.”
“I’ll come find you soon,” I told her.
Anna started walking away, and I watched, oblivious to Irene standing in front of me until Anna was out of sight.
