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“Yes, but we knew this couldn’t be serious. It’s a casual arrangement only, and I may be leaving soon. We can’t forget that.”
My heart dropped again. “Oh, yes, of course.”
What was I thinking? That she might have changed her mind about leaving?
“But I’m going to miss you, Levi. I’m going to miss our talks. You’re one of my closest friends, and I really can’t imagine losing you. I hope we can stay friends even when I move.”
“Definitely.” Henry returned with our drinks, and I clumsily poured some for Anna and myself, my hand shaking. “I was hoping for the same thing.”
“Good,” she said, smiling. “Because I really have enjoyed our time together.”
“Me too.”
“I keep thinking… if only the circumstances were different, but we want different things out of life. It sucks, but I can’t imagine either of us would be happy giving up our dreams.”
“I agree.” I felt the same way; I knew it to be true. But part of me still wished it wasn’t so.
Henry returned and asked if we were ready to order.
“Yeah, I think so,” I said, looking at Anna, who was searching the menu again. “Or maybe not.”
“No, no, I’m ready,” she said.
I was relieved for the interruption in our conversation. I didn’t really like hearing about how we’d make such good friends or how in another life maybe we could be together. It felt too bittersweet, almost cruel, to even entertain such ideas. Once she left, she would be busy with her new life. She’d meet new people, and she would forget all about me.
“Levi?” Anna was staring at me, as was Henry. I had completely dissociated for a moment.
“Oh, right, yes.” I ordered my food and Henry walked away, leaving me alone with Anna again.
“So, when are you going to tell your family about the job? We could fool them for two days out of town, but two weeks? I can’t leave my animals that long to pretend were traveling together.”
“I know, but it’s a week after my sister’s wedding… I really don’t want the attention to be pulled away from that, so I would like to keep things calm until then. As soon as Emily is married, I’ll tell them about the interview and we can stage our breakup then, if you’re okay with waiting that long.”
“Of course,” I said, my fists balled up at my sides, trying to ease the tension in my body. “That was the plan all along, after all.”
“Right,” Anna said, her voice low. She was fidgeting with the napkin and focused on that as if it were the most interesting napkin in the world.
“And I think we need to really cool things off this time.”
Anna hesitated, took a deep breath, and let it out before nodding. “You’re right.”
“Which means I’m taking the couch again tonight.”
Anna’s face fell, but again, she nodded. “Yes, I think that’s a good idea too.”
“So, are we good?” I asked. Or as good as we can be, considering the circumstances, I thought.
Anna nodded and offered a faint smile. “I think so. Are you good, Levi?”
“I’m good,” I said, taking a swig from the glass and regretting my decision to order water instead of something stronger. “Just a little while longer.”
Chapter 17
Anna
As soon as we got back to Sunville, Levi and I went our separate ways. We had time before our next event, and even though our parting was amicable, we kept our distance.
I hated every second of it. Every night, I thought about messaging him, asking him if we could see each other, but that was a bad idea. Not just for me, but for him. It wasn’t fair for me to string him along or cause him more heartache.
