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Levi and I walked ahead, and Grace stayed a couple steps behind. I tried to call her up to walk beside us, but she said she wanted to give us ample time together. She had a huge smile on her face.
We checked my bags and headed toward security, slowing our pace since we would have to say our goodbyes at that point. We stopped short of the line, and I adjusted my carry-on bag, distracting myself from the inevitable rush of emotion.
Grace stepped up first and we hugged. “I’m going to miss you, sis,” she whispered to me. “But I’m so happy for you, and I’ll admit, a tad jealous that you get to do this. Knock ‘em dead out there, Anna.” She wiped the tears from her eyes.
“It’s only two weeks,” I said, my eyes stinging.
“But we both know you’re going to get the job,” she said. “Take care of yourself, and take pictures for me, please.”
She stepped back, and Levi stepped up, staring at the ground with his hands shoved in his pockets.
Grace cleared her throat. “I’m going to hit the road and try to miss rush hour.”
“It’s too early for rush hour.” I realized what she was doing as she waved and headed out of the airport, leaving me alone with Levi.
“So, this is it,” he said softly.
“Well, just for two weeks.”
“Like Grace said, you’re going to get it, Anna.”
I wasn’t so sure, but I loved that my family and friends had such faith in me. I wiped away the tears drenching my cheeks and checked the time. “Crap, I have to get moving.”
“Come here,” he said, pulling me into a hug.
He kissed the top of my head and held me as I cried into his chest. He slowly lifted my chin until I met his gaze. He pressed his lips against mine, and I put everything I had into that kiss. I kissed him like I might never get to kiss him again. Who knew, maybe I wouldn’t?
“Just remember what I said. I will give up everything I have here and move to Tanzania to be with you.”
“Levi, I can’t–”
“Shhh,” he said, kissing me again.
I never wanted to let him go, but I couldn’t ask him to give up everything for me. It wouldn’t be fair, and eventually, he would grow to resent me. I knew how important it was to him not to lose himself in a relationship, I couldn’t ask him to do that for me. I wouldn’t. If I took the job, it would be the end; it would have to be.
I started sobbing, tears staining his shirt as I buried my face against him.
Why did this have to be so hard? Why did I have to complicate things by falling for Levi?
“You need to go,” he said softly, his voice sounding pained.
I knew those words were difficult. He wanted to ask me to stay, yet he didn’t. Because he knew me, he knew I needed this, and he wouldn’t ask me to change my dreams for him.
Just like I couldn’t ask that of him.
I wiped my tears. Levi helped me find some tissues in my bag, and he helped wipe the tears away from my cheeks.
As we parted ways, I wondered if Grace was already back on the highway toward home. Her kids would be waking up soon. I wondered if Madeline might ask about me.
My heart ached as I thought about my family.
I wasn’t just leaving Levi behind.
* * *
“Good evening, folks. We are beginning our descent into Julius Nyerere International Airport in Dar es Salaam, Tanzania. Please make sure your seatbelts are fastened and your tray tables and seat backs are in the upright and locked position as we prepare to land.”
My heart was racing as I stared out the window at the city below. So many Americans mistakenly believe that Africa is all savannas and jungle, but the city below us was vibrant and filled with life. I knew this already, but it still surprised me to see the modern buildings below us.
