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“No, Dixon,” she refutes, saddened. “You did it to protect yourself.”
“I—” But I suddenly pause. Is she right? I thought I was doing the right thing, but deep down, I knew it was wrong. I always knew there was another way, but I was too chickenshit to face it.
“If you had just told me the truth, I may have been able to forgive you…”
Her words cement what I know, what I always knew to be true. “And now?”
“I just…I can’t,” she cries, a tear spilling down her cheek. “How can I ever trust you? You know how hard it was for me to open up.”
“I know.” I step forward, but she recoils. Her repulsion is like a dagger to my heart.
“Maddy, please.”
“No,” she says. “I don’t know who you are.”
“I’m me,” I plead, placing a hand over my heart.
With nothing but sorrow in her tone, she confesses, “I don’t even know who that is anymore.”
I stand speechless, trying to figure out how to fix this.
“Were you seeing her behind my back?”
“When?” I ask.
“This entire time.”
“Not how you think.” I come clean, but it’s not enough.
“Stop talking in riddles!” she shouts, advancing forward angrily.
“After you and I started talking again, yes, I was seeing her. But then I stopped soon after. I knew she wasn’t the right one for me. I wanted you,” I sincerely profess. “I ended it soon after the night we met at Cherry Pop.”
“And in Boston?” she asks, piecing it all together. “Was she supposed to be your plus-one?”
“Yes.”
She frowns, shaking her head, appalled. “Oh my God. I’m a fucking fool.”
“But that was before I knew I’d ever see you again,” I expose, knowing this truth has come a little too late.
She exhales slowly. “What about after the engagement? Have you seen her behind my back?”
I wish my response was different. “Yes,” I reply, shame-facedly.
She appears hurt and angered all in the same breath. “Iwasright. I knew there was something more.”
“No, not like that,” I quickly defend my actions. “I had to play along until I figured out what I wanted to do.”
“Why didn’t you just tell me the truth? There were many times that you could have!”
I nod sadly because if I had just been honest from the beginning, none of this would have happened. “I know.”
“But instead, you lied, which is so much worse.” She looks at me with nothing but disgust in her eyes, and the sight of that hurts more than I ever thought possible. I need her to see why I did this. I need her to see this was all for her.
“I knew Dylan was your Achilles’ heel. I couldn’t stand him to hurt you ever again. Can’t you see that?”
She nods, but her firm jaw reveals it’s not enough. “I can, but what you’ve done is far worse than what he ever did to me.”
