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She wheezed and bucked against him, grunting as he seated himself deep inside and groaned out himself. Adrenalin flooded his system, cock straining against the walls of her tight little hole. Fuck she felt good. It made him slap her again to wake up that damned mouth again, then yank her face to his. He needed to hear her more. Needed that venomous little mouth to tell him how much she despised him. How reproachful this was. No love. No sense of soft or enjoyable. He needed hate now. Hate and villainy, both emotions rallied into him as if he were that monster inside.
“You’re a little fuck toy, Lilah. Nothing more than that.” Her mouth came round so quickly he didn’t get a chance to pull back. She bit into his neck with so much power he felt flesh tear as she tugged. It caused pain to mingle through his thoughts, a pain he’d forgotten about. No one did this to him anymore. No fighting. No one coming back at him and causing blood to drain from him. He smiled at the feeling and started raising his hips, powering into her quicker to gain traction on the come he needed to get rid of. He fucked in deep, letting her animal response tow him along, until all he could hear were her grunts and moans beneath him.
She let go eventually, still squirming like she hated every minute of it, but her hips pushed back against him, deepening the fucking into manic possession. And then she stilled. No noise. No sound. No movement other than what he was creating. He pulled himself up and looked down at her, watching as she lost herself in her own black hole of space. She just lay there and let him use her. Let him rut into her and batter away whatever fucking mood he was in. He grasped and pulled. Yanked and pushed. Forced pressure and caused more pain to her form, until he spilled his load in her backside and breathed out a sigh of thanks for the silence of it.
For her, perhaps.
Glazed, he looked her over and pulled out slowly, amused at the reddened areas all over her. She was still quiet. Lifeless almost. She barely breathed underneath him, let alone responded.
“Lilah?” Nothing.
His hands moved to untie the belt, freeing her hands to her sides as he moved away from what he’d done. They flopped down onto the bed, no effort to control them from her. So quiet. So perfectly still she barely looked alive.
He frowned and reached for her hair, tipping it off her face to check she was actually breathing. Nothing but a peaceful face greeted him. Eyes closed, a state of subspace he had never seen before transfixed in her body. He chuckled lightly. No wonder Pascal loved her for it. Hours he must have played with that prone oblivion of skin. Then he frowned again, glancing at her body and thinking of Elizabeth.
What the fuck had he just done?
He wandered to the bathroom and grabbed a washcloth, hoping to bring her round gently to some degree, if it was possible at all. He’d never had to deal with something like this before. Never seen nor witnessed a person so far under they could be dead, but he took the damp cloth back to her anyway and rolled her onto her back. Her eyes opened immediately, venom laced in them and more apathy entrenched.
“Don’t you fucking dare touch me again,” she said, quietly, glaring at him. “That is the last time you will ever touch me. Do you understand?” He nodded and offered her the cloth, a wry smile on his face. “And wipe that smug satisfaction off of your face. You got nothing from me here. Nothing.” He nodded at that and backed off as she moved herself to sitting, another glare of disdain proving very effective indeed. “You’re a cunt, Alex. An uneducated moron.”
“That sounds like Pascal.” She lifted her chin, not amused at anything.
“If he was here you might well be dead by now.”
“True.”
They stared at each other for a while, both flat in their features as if this fucking hadn’t happened, or maybe it had and neither of them was prepared to admit it. She eventually sighed and began stripping off what was left of her clothes, more disdain heavy in her eyes as she looked at them.
“Say thank you, Alex.”
“What?” He looked at her, oddly aroused again at her snappy tone.
“Will you ever learn any fucking manners or sense?” Still he stared. “You say ‘Thank you, Lilah, for giving me the ability to think rationally again’ yes?” He frowned and turned away, damn sure near raping someone wasn’t about thinking rationally. “And then you get on your way and try being a decent fucking human being again.” He glanced back to find her walking out of his bedroom and along the hall, naked and stretching. “Elizabeth, Alex. Go see Elizabeth and be the dutiful man of the house. Be loving.” His brows rose, interested in her callous demeanour and where it had come from. “And do not tell her about this for Christ’s sake. Not yet. I’ll do that when the time is right.”
Chapter 9
Elizabeth
“What do you mean he’s not here?” Belle grumbles, plonking herself on the bed beside me. She throws her bag on the side table and looks me over, tucking a blanket higher around my waist. “Not that I’m surprised. Arsehole.”
“Belle, he’s flying back-“
“I flew back from New York in business class. I’m here. Why isn’t he?” It’s a good point, and I’m trying to find reasoning for it, but it’s not here to be found. He should be here by now. “He’s got his own private jet for god’s sake.”
“You left earlier than he did.” She looks at me, contempt in every feature she’s got. She still dislikes him, even after all this time. I know why. Especially lately. I’ve talked to her about our problems. Not the entirety of them because that’s going too far, but some. Regardless, he’s been amazing to her, and to me in the most part over the last few years. Okay, we have the minor altercation about all sorts of things, but we’ve been happy up until all this baby business started. Perhaps it was wrong to even try. It’s not like it has sodding well worked either time anyway. “He’ll be here as soon as he can, I’m sure.”
Not that I am sure.
I sigh and look at her, hoping she just calms down and behaves like the big sister I need at the moment rather than slating Alex. I can’t cope with it. Don’t want to, actually. I feel like my womb’s just been ripped out of me and its left a chasm of problems behind, let alone the actuality of the baby that’s gone, too. Tears prick my eyes at the thought again. I suck them up and look away from her eyes, attempting to be strong and hold all of it inside. I’ve done this once already. I can do it again. And it’s over now anyway. Finished. I cried all my tears last time. I cried them into him, hoping that he’d somehow make it better. He didn’t, couldn’t, but he said it didn’t matter, that we could try again, and now I’ve let him down with that. Let us both down. Why? What’s wrong with me, us?
“What did the doctor say?” she eventually asks, softening her tone.
I pick at the blanket on my lap, not sure what she said. It didn’t have a heartbeat, that’s all I remember. And then it was a whirlwind of words that blurred into nothing. I nodded when she told me what would need to happen, knowing it already anyway. Nothing mattered after those words. They just produced a void inside, one that left me feeling alone and cold or something. Empty.
“It’s okay, Beth,” she says, reaching for my head to stroke it. “Really, it is. You’ll be fine.”
No I won’t. I’ll be a mess, just like I was last time. I won’t be strong or able to handle his moods. I won’t be ready at the drop of a hat for anything he wants, or able to see his moods long before he does. I’ll cocoon myself in nothing, barely acknowledging anything other than the vacancy inside me again. That’s when it all went wrong for us. I know that now because I can feel it coming again. Alex changed, like he didn’t know how to handle me or what to do. He was sullen, walking around on eggshells in case he offended me or said something wrong. I suppose he became someone I didn’t know, just like I became someone he didn’t know, too. And I did nothing to stop that feeling.
