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My hands start slapping again, legs and body moving like I’m on fire to try getting off him. I’m not doing this again. It’s too much, too painful. If he doesn’t want a baby, then what’s the fucking point of it all? Are we just to continue fucking into the future with no hope of more, or love?
“You don’t even love me, Alex. Put.” I shove. “Me.” My legs beats into the back of his, body twisting. “Down.” Nothing happens but him moving forward out into the hall, still gripping me like I’m something to be thrown about at will. Screw him. And screw all this too. I’m so done with all this. I want life, and children, and happiness. “BELLE!” I scream, still kicking out at him. He keeps striding, his hand now gripping at my neck to hold me in place on him. She comes rounding the corner, feet screeching to halt behind us.
“Alex, put her down,” she shouts. He doesn’t. In fact, he holds tighter if that’s possible, now growling with the effort to keep me in place.
“I’m not letting you go, Elizabeth. You know that,” he mutters, one hand gripping my pyjama covered thigh. “Stay fucking still.” I don’t, and no amount of him demanding orders at me is going to make any difference at all. I’m furious. Livid. I don’t even know why.
Belle comes alongside us, her arms waving.
“Will you put her down, you’re acting like a Neanderthal.”
He ignores her and carries on, and Teresa coming up behind her and yanking her away from me is not helpful to my cause. “Really?” I shout at her.
Some fucking friend.
We eventually hit fresh air, all of my power just about depleted. I don’t even know why I’m bothering. I’ve never been able to beat his strength, or win a battle of wills. He’s a master at either, barely giving care to anyone’s opinion on anything. I’m so done with that. I have an opinion on this. It’s my body, my thoughts. I want a baby. I do. I want one and I will have one, with or without him.
“Fuck you. Put me down.”
“No. You’re being petulant.” Petulant? How dare he? “And stupid.” I stop my useless struggle, furious with his appraisal of me.
“Stupid? I want a baby, Alex. How the hell is that stupid?”
“It’s not,” he says, dumping me on the ground. I scoot away from him so quick his head rears back at my speed. “But behaving like this is not the way to get what you want.” I can’t get what I want. Not with him, anyway. My hands land on my hips, crotch moving around a little to ease the discomfort there, and glare at the people moving around. “Do you really think this is the way to make me change my mind, Elizabeth?”
“What?”
“In all the time you’ve known me, do you think acting like a fucking brat is going to make me understand your hopes better?”
“I don’t even know what that means. You’re beyond help. Really, you are.” I turn and stomp off, unsure where I’m going but not caring regardless. “Utterly delusional.” I think I shouted that. Whatever. I’ll go to Teresa’s and wait. Because I haven’t got any keys. I can’t even think right now. Acting like a brat? Me? I just lost a baby. And he’s the one carrying what he must think he owns out of the building like he who must be obeyed. Screw him. No. I’m not doing this anymore. I’m done. Alone.
My bare toe stubs the gravel, as I wrench my ring off my finger and chuck it back at him without looking where it’s going. Stupid bloody thing, and this bloody necklace can go, too. I reach for the clasp, ready to hurl it into traffic.
“I need to know why,” he calls. I swing back, stunned at the words, and watch him pick the ring up off the floor.
“What?”
“I don’t understand why you want a baby,” he says, hands going into his pockets as he closes the distance slowly. Who doesn’t understand that? My mouth opens, then closes as I try to find the right words. There aren’t any. It’s a feeling, a heartbeat. It’s just something that lives inside me with no words to explain it. It’s an instinct. A priority. Something more than him or me. “Tell me why, Elizabeth.”
I don’t know.
Chapter 10
Pascal
This lounging was becoming intolerable. He pushed whatever ‘it’ it was off of his leg and pulled himself upright. The ‘it’ moaned, and then rolled to its side straight into another it. He was bored of its. They were dull. Or inane. He wasn’t sure which at present. Perhaps another cognac would bring clarity over what had become a dubious state of fucking. He looked at his cock, it was unperturbed by the amount of dry humping it had achieved. It seemed rampant. As if nothing would satisfy its insatiable appetite.
“Sir,” a woman said. He looked at her and stood, reaching for his robe.
“Hmm?”
“Have I displeased you?” He did not know that she had attempted pleasing, let alone displeasing. “Your cock, Sir?” she continued, pointing at it, eyes downcast. “You did not come.” Of course he did not. None of these imbeciles and morons were Lilah, or Alexander, or his rose. They were all below par. Of no use.
“What did you do to it?” He could not fathom which hole he might have used on her.
“Sucking it, Sir. Thank you.” Hmm. He touched the little thing, who was at least respectful in her gaze at the floor, and tied his robe. “It was divine.” Indeed his cock was. Or would be if the fucking thing would empty.
“I am bored,” he announced, to whom he didn’t care. No one moved, which was perplexing. Things normally ran around and attempted entertainment when he said such a thing, or at least offered support of a fashion. “Why are you all so inadequate?” No one answered.
