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“It is most …”
“Sit down,” Alexander snarled, glaring back at him and rolling up his sleeves. “Sit down and explain to me why you think, in my position, the one you have asked me to maintain over you, even after you damn near killed me, that I should bow down to your whims because you feel neglected by me?”
“It is not that I…”
“SIT.” Pascal did indeed sit, after a pause. “I have been there. Every time you called, I came. Every time you needed me, I came. Even when your life was threatened, I came and destroyed your threat. I am even here now, regardless of whatever the fuck is going on in my own head.” All true. Pascal’s brow furrowed.
“I know, and that is …”
“And yet you sit here and dare to question how I choose to spend my time without you?”
“No, it is not your time without me. It is your inability to call me when I am needed by you.” Alexander’s brows rose, ice blue eyes threatening all kinds of misdemeanours which, if not for this argument, would be most pleasurable he was sure.
“Why should I?” the man eventually asked, his legs crossing and his hand landing on his jaw.
“What?”
“It isn’t my position to need you. You taught me that. It’s my position to be there for you when you need me. Which I have done. Constantly. Apart from this last few months.” Pascal watched the fingers moving, watched them travelling along his lips and readying themselves for damage. “You made me like this, turned me into who I am now, moulded me. And yet you’re questioning how I do that?”
“I am not …”
“YES YOU ARE.”
Alexander suddenly stood up, his frame visibly shaking with a violence that would surely explode any minute. The ferocity that came from the shout had Lilah and Elizabeth hurtling around the corner, both of their feet screeching into the space.
“Alex …” Lilah started.
“No. Enough. I’m fucking done here.” Pascal may have gaped. Surely he didn’t mean … “Has it even fucking occurred to you, any of you, that I might be damn well exhausted by all your needs?” They all stared, no answer to that other than no. The man stared back at each one of them, Elizabeth first. “Crying. Pain. Children and love.” And then Lilah. “Teaching, training. Help. Advice.” And then, finally, back to Pascal. “Beating. Violence.” The sigh that followed was most disconcerting, and abominably tired. ”Does it even register with you that I care? That I punish myself when I see your skin after I have given you what you need, whatIneed?”
Hmm. Fascinating.
Alexander’s frame dropped, a shadow cast by the gloom that overtook his ferocity. “Who the hell holds me together? Which one of you is allowed to when I’m the one at the top?” he said, lowering his tone even more. “When is it my turn to feel weakened?”
He walked off after that, leaving all three of them staring at the empty void he’d left. Pascal looking at Lilah, and then narrowed his stare. Did she hold Alexander together? He was not sure.
“You should go to him, Lilah,” he said, still looking at the door he’d left through. Elizabeth gasped. “Do not be moronic, Elizabeth. You are not strong enough.”
“But-“
“No. Lilah, please.” He looked at her, near pleading for her to take this matter on rather than him have do it. Or deal with the inevitability that might be coming because of it.
“No, it should be you. Or her,” she replied, tapping her lips.
“Not.”
“Quite,” Elizabeth said. “It should be me.”
“Why?” he asked. She was wrong. “You cannot amass yourself let alone him.”
“And you’re an up yourself dick who needs to learn a thing or two about love.” His own hackles raised to an abnormally high level given her grief lately. Perhaps he should beat her. Or himself for thinking about beating her.
“No he doesn’t,” his head swung to Lilah again. “He knows everything about love. Alex is the one in the wrong here, not him. Don’t you dare-“
“Fuck you.” This was most interesting. He watched on, almost amused at the dynamic, and then stared back at the door Alexander had passed through. What did the man need?
“And perhaps if you hadn’t have fucked him, when he should have been with me, then none of this shit would have happened and we’d all be fine.” His Rose. She was also wrong with that analogy. Alexander would have needed Lilah for varying reasons, needed to hurt and cause pain beyond Elizabeth’s tolerance. And he himself had not been there for the man because he was self-wallowing.
“God, you’re such a pathetic bitch.” Lilah. “What, Beth? He was going to come to you, in that mood, and make baby matters better somehow? He needed what I offered, and if you got over your bloody jealousy you might …”
