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I pull upright, and use my weight to balance her before employing a small shove in her direction. She laughs at me, eyes like daggers, and then turns back to her chair as if nothing has happened. “Controlling him will kill all of you. He is shrewder, more sadistic, and too intelligent to be curtailed in any way. You should know this by now, Lilah. Had you been looking out for him rather than yourself or Alexander, youwouldknow this.” My arms halt the manic attempt at straightening my shawl, eyes narrowed at her words. Not looking out for him? I’ve always looked out for him, and Alexander, and Elizabeth. That’s all I’ve damn well done for two years in this odd world of theirs. It’s fucking exhausting. “Let him go before you destroy him and yourself. He will come back if he wants too. Let him breathe before you suffocate him.”
She sits after that and looks into her fire, a glaze across her face that lets me know this conversation is finished. It’s not, not as far as I’m concerned. I have plenty of things to say, but not a clue how to say any of them.
I huff, still glaring at her, and then put myself directly in her eye-line. She barely moves her gaze from the fire or acknowledges my existence. Not this time. This time I have things to say and she will listen to me as if I’m an equal. I’m not one of her pets, nor one of her toys to play with as and when she sees fit. I am Lilah James. Domme and near barrister. I have arguments well and truly down. I can argue with the best of them, and counter whatever reasoning the prosecutor gives. This woman, no matter the respect I have for her, can go jump off a damn bridge if she thinks she’s ordering me around with her attitude and flare.
“Pascal Van Der Braack is not built for love, Lilah. He is built to teach and control, nothing more. Let him teach those less fortunate. That is where he is happiest. Give him his control back. Too much thinking without correct dominance causes discord with him.” Still she stares into the fire, a small yawn coming. The words make me stare at her, unsure how that will pan out with the great Alex. Although, maybe he wouldn’t care all that much. “And get rid of Alexander unless he manages to evolve past childhood toys. He’s not strong enough to employ what is required of him.” Oh. Really? “He is selfish and unable to give his all. Always has been so inclined.”
I frown at that, pretty sure he’s given his all to Pascal on many occasions. I mean, they’re together, fucking, and enjoying each other to full effect as far as I can tell. Well, when they get a chance to do so, anyway.
“But, they’re …”
“Unconnected. His instinct is unreachable. Too old when turned.”
Right.
Chapter 4
Alexander
His fingers leafed through the paperwork, studying the words with little interest to their meaning. Louisa sat opposite him, a dower look on her face. He didn’t know why, she was a wealthy woman now, one who should be looking a damn sight happier about her position at the top of his company.
“Why am I looking at these?” he asked.
“Because you need to sign them,” she replied, efficient with her words as ever.
He looked up and pushed the documents away, annoyed that he’d been pulled to New York to deal with them when all he really wanted was to be at home - London.
“Alexander, I can’t sign these for you. If you want to put your company on the line with this latest merger, then you can do it yourself.”
“Why are you so against it?”
“Because you’re being fucking stupid,” she snapped, eyes peering over her glasses. He snorted at her. It had been a while since he’d had to deal with her professional attitude, and there was only one other woman that would dare. But that was in an entirely different workspace.
“This will increase yield on two different continents, and draw investment from the Asia holdings back into play. Why would you think that’s stupid?”
“Because they’re all doing absolutely fine as they are. Your share point is up by 19 percent, and the float is looking good. You want it bought out, then you need to stay exactly where you are and not risk anything changing on that front.” His brow rose. It was competent thinking. Dull, but sensible. “Four companies are beginning negotiations to buy you out, two of which are offering ridiculous amounts of money to break it all apart, all of which you already know. You’re safe, Alex. Very safe. You should stay that way and enjoy the benefits of a job well done.” Should he? He didn’t feel very safe. He felt lost, adrift. Something was off, uncomfortable. “It’s like you’re bored and have nothing better to do with your time.” That, too, was a possibility.
He picked up the papers and stood, dropping them into his briefcase. Perhaps he should think a little longer about it. If anyone knew his business inside out, it was Louisa. She had been running it for nearly three years. Selling it had been her idea, too. She said with the little time he was investing in it, what was the point in hanging onto it at all? Certainly with the amount of money he could make by selling it. It was another sensible decision. Not one he adored the thought of, though.
Even if it was the correct one to make.
“Okay. Give me some time to think about it. I’ll get back to you.”
She nodded and stood, too, eventually wandering over to open the door of his own office for him. Not that it was anymore since she’d taken it over. He looked back at her as he passed through it, glancing over her suit. She looked well. “What will you do if I sell?”
“I’ll live very comfortably off the profits I’ve made for you over the last three years,” she replied, smiling. “You are aware you signed the papers that increased my bonuses to 48 percent?”
Did he? He laughed. He wasn’t aware of barely anything he signed that she sent. Life had been nothing but a blur of trying to accept what he was the last three years, and she was one of the two people he trusted with anything related to his business. Between her and Lilah James he could well have signed his life away.
“Thank you,” he said, waking out of the room.
“For what?” she called. He turned to find her leaning on the doorframe, arms crossed with a perplexed look on her face.
“For being honest, Louisa. For letting me trust someone,” he said, pressing for the lift and walking into it. “For being someone I can trust.” She smiled at that and nodded, and then turned back into her office as the doors on the lift closed.
He stared at them as the floors passed by, wondering what it was that he wanted to do with his company and life. These past few years had been revolutionary. He’d taken the sadist within, let him loose on skin and finally found some kind of balance in life, but it felt lost still. Like the balance wasn’t right. Certainly now. The thought was disconcerting. All this power, all this life he thought he wanted, and yet still something seemed missing from it. Pascal, Elizabeth, even Lilah in her own way - they all offered a sense of trust and loyalty, something he should be happy with, contented by, but he wasn’t. Pascal was the problem. Or his own reaction to him. He knew it, but couldn’t put his finger on why. Games perhaps. The consistency of aggressive thoughts in his mind. The turmoil of decisions to make now that he'd pushed Pascal away.
Who fucking knew?
