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I shake my head and stay focused on his movements, ready to fight again if I have to, but his long strides seem relaxed, as if he’s ambling through a country park on a summer’s afternoon and letting the sun rain down on his exposed chest.
“You didn’t feel inclined to fuck them?” he asks, reaching my side.
“No.”
“You should have just said.” My gaze narrows, tension making me second guess what this is. Just said? I did, didn’t I? Tried. Left. Said no.
My vision swims again, bright lights and the ball swinging in front of me.
“You did things with a ball and chain,” I mumble.
“Balls and chains?”
“Yes. They swung in my face.”
He laughs again and walks passed me, drawing keys out of his pocket on a long chain. “You really are insane. First veins in my face and now my balls are swinging in your face?” The large door gets unlocked, a creak coming as it widens in front of me, and he pockets the keys again. “Keep going, Mrs Tanner. You’ll eventually get to an elevator. Go down. I’m sure you’ll find Gray somewhere if that’s the path you’re choosing.” I frown at the words and watch him carefully, not trusting him or anything he says. Therewasa ball. It was in my face, swinging like a pendulum. “Be careful down there. The wolves are out.”
“You were chasing me.”
“No I wasn’t. I was following to make sure you didn’t kill yourself.” Kill myself? Why would I do that? He’s so still. Like Gray. So impossibly still. No heaving breaths as if he’s been running. Just his body arresting and a smile. “You’ll know if I chase you, Mrs Tanner. You’ll get caught.”
I shake my head again, unsure if he’s telling the truth or not, and edge towards the open door. Nothing seems real with him. Or nothing seems real in this place when he’s in it. Downstairs will be better. It was simpler down there. “You’re not coming with me?”
“No, Mrs Tanner.”
“Stop calling me that.”
He laughs again, eyes glinting at my rage building, and shoos his hand as if I’m not part of the next few hours. “Go, Mrs Tanner. Before I change my mind and drag you back in there.”
Go. Yes.
The door seems to close as I make my way fully through it, his exposed back disappearing from my view as it does, and then I’m in a room of brick and dust. The walls seem to dissolve and groan as I brood in here, trying to calm down. It’s old. Centuries old. I smile weakly and drag my hands over the structure, letting the debris and dust sooth my sweaty palms and order my thoughts. Cold again. Freezing. Silent other than the occasional sounds that seem to grumble and groan.
I shiver and keep walking, eyes glancing at movement flittering above my head. Icicles hang low from the ceiling. Pointed tips directed at me as if they might fall and kill. Fall and kill? I chuckle and move again, still looking upwards in case they do, and eventually reach a brightly lit area at the end of the tunnel.
One lone steel door stands in the corner of the crumbling cave. Elevator, I assume. More movement above my head. I edge towards it, finger pressing the button, and keep gazing upwards. Monsters? Too quick for monsters. I knock my head with my hand, trying to clear out the flashing colours, and slink into the clean modern walls of metal.
Buttons? Down. Down and dirty.
A snort rips out of me, hands resting on the bar surrounding the inside of this space as the cart travels down, and I laugh at the absurdity of everything here. My shoulders roll, breath exhaling slowly to calm me again now Malachi’s gone. Down and dirty, odd, peculiar and strange.
The doors open again before I’ve finished thinking my thoughts, and stare out into the masses of bodies undulating. Music blares out as before, people laughing and travelling by me. I smile and shimmy out into it, grinning at this atmosphere. Better. Fun and elaborate. Decadent. Much more like it. I sway and giggle, happy to let these colours taunt me into their embrace. Vibrant.
Full of energy and glee.
A hand reaches for mine as I move further in, dragging me somewhere. “Come, follow us,” the girl says, giggling. I do, happy to be towed wherever they’re going in this dark room full of luminescent lights strobing around. Blues and greens, reds.
I look upwards as we move, smiling at the display. The smell creeps into me as much as the music does, drawing me forward into whatever we’re doing. Low, musky. Here is sex and fun, pleasure and relaxation away from Malachi’s sordid games.
Rooms pass me by, the people in them moaning and groaning under their torment. I want that. I want to moan and groan under my own torment, feel it inside me like it felt when Gray was inside me. The connection. I need it again. Need to feel it deep in my mind and search his eyes as if they’re part of me.
Chapter 8
Gray
There’s a desperation in me. It’s addling my nerves further than these people around me are, making me gaze into this smoky light with only one intent in mind – fucking Hannah.
Maddening.
