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Every thought stops in my mind. Overridden by the spins and whirls, a sensation taking me over that consumes me entirely. “If you do I’ll teach you my trick and …”
I don’t hear the rest of it. Don’t care.
Chapter 10
Gray
Ican hear her muffled sounds along with the music. I shouldn’t be able to. I should have stayed downstairs and revelled in the available options for me, but I’m here instead – listening behind doors like a reprobate.
The scowl etched into my brow deepens, eyes fixed on the expanse of solid oak blocking me from her, and I wait. That’s all I’ve got. No intrusion is warrantable. No call for him to stop. I gave her to him, leaving him with only one request – make sure she enjoys it and stop if she says no. That’s all I could do to keep the separation as wide as possible and protect her, but that could still mean anything with Malachi.
Pain.
Humiliation.
Degradation.
Some fucked up game he’ll use to hurt both her and me.
She’ll still be enjoying it, though.
My eyes close under that thought alone, head shaking, jealousy raging, and I breathe long and deep to cleanse the useless dynamic of coupling out of my mind. We are not a couple. Not bound or entwined in courtship. We are simply two people limited to these walls around us now. The thought doesn’t make the fact that he’s with her any easier to bear, and a low growl sounds from me whether I want to admit it or not.
I shift in the hard chair, crossing my legs the other way to ease the tension in me. I’ll just wait, make sure she’s alright by the time he’s done with giving her his sort of enjoyment, and then leave. I have to. The fact that I’m sitting here, concerned for her and wanting her over everything else that was available for me downstairs, is profound enough to prove the need for distance. I’ve had my fun, had my dick inside her and felt those moments she gave me. There’s nothing other than that. One more offer for her to leave with me, at least get back to New York with me, and then I’ll go. Maybe she’ll be ready now she’s fucked and lost herself for a while.
Unlikely, but possible.
A sigh leaves me, possessive overtures consuming rational thought.
“You look so sad, Gray,” Faith’s voice says.
I ignore the comment and her and carry on listening to the quietening music still coming out of the room, eyes still closed. I’m not interested in the taunts anymore. Won’t be wound up by them either. I’m calmer now, less pressured other than the need to get her out of this place.
“I watched you fucking. Exceptional.” I know. I was part of it. My dick pulses, the memory of it firmly entrenched in my mind. “And yet you’re letting Malachi play. I’m surprised at your affability. I thought you’d be selfish about her.” Another growl seeps out of me, mouth screwing up into a snarl. “Not interesting enough?”
My eyes open slowly, irritation forcing them. Hannah is the most interesting thing to happen to me in ten years. She’s inside me, persuading me, somehow becoming part of me regardless of this door separating us.
Faith looks back at me, a red ball-gown covering her skin now, and she smiles as she sips at a cocktail. “She won’t leave, you know. She’s bedded in now. Happy to be evolving past normality. I saw it in her eyes. Too much like me when Mal first found me.”
“She will,” mutters from me. “She’s nothing like you, Faith.”
“But she is. You know it as well as I do. She’s running from something. Lost.” She sips again and looks me over slowly, drawing her gaze from the floor to my eyes. “She’ll feel safe here. Able to express herself and become new.”
“She isn’t lost. She’s grieving.”
A light chuckle comes from her, her body weaving through the furniture to get to me. “That is not a grieving woman, Gray. That is a woman finding herself again.” She sits in the chair opposite me, blocking my view. “You know it as well as I do. Maybe your idea of fixing is working.”
“I’m not trying to fix her.”
“No? What are you trying to do?”
My brow scrunches, stare moving to look at the window rather than her. I don’t know what I’m trying to do. I didn’t think past bringing her here for a few days, certainly didn’t think I’d become entangled in something I can’t honour. And now I can’t think of anything else but getting her out of here or staying with her and forgetting responsibilities I cannot overlook.
“Go away Faith.”
“No.”
I sigh and look back at her, accepting the fact that nothing ever makes either of them go away. Hasn’t done for years. They’re always there in the back of my head, tempting me into a world I can’t play in for longer than the time I give it. “I’m not like you, Faith. I have a life outside of this.”
