AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I want her. I want inside her without any drug in the way or thought of another man doing it for me. She was so small in my hands, fragile, like a delicate toy to break. And if I don’t Malachi will. He’ll make her feel safe, give her the words and feelings she needs, and then he’ll just play until she’s nothing but bits and pieces of what she was before, scattered and discarded.
“Why don’t you just fuck her and get it over with? She’ll be as forgettable as everything else then,” Faith says.
Sadly, that thought isn’t true.
“Go away, Faith.”
“No. This is my house. You’re the invader.”
Fair point.
I rise from my chair and look out into the snow, wondering where she is and what Malachi’s done with her, doing with her. I heard the music, watched her walk in the same direction. Clever fuck. Always is. Just the right notes to pull a mixed up head towards the sound. He did it with me at first, let the sounds mix with the drugs to elongate the thought of pleasure.
“Is he interested in her for any other reason than me?” I mumble.
“Possibly. She’s pretty. Maybe he’ll hold onto her for a while. He’s as much in need of distraction as the rest of us.” I chuckle at that and turn back to look at her, eyes floating over her bare legs draped across the chair she’s in. Barely any clothes now. Lingerie only, but for the scrap of thin diamonds clamped around her upper arms.
“Clothes?”
“Why?”
“Because I’m not Malachi and I want to fuck.”
“But you never do. So sad, Gray.”
I smile at that, another chuckle coming out of me. “Tease.”
“I’m available if you’re desperate. I won’t moan like she will, though,” she says, getting up and walking to me. “I’m not as fascinated with you as he is.” I know. “Why aren’t you just getting on with it? Given that your mood’s improved.” I frown and wonder on it some more myself, confused. It has improved. I’m calmer now, less interested in denying anything. “I’ve never understood. All these women and you just keep watching and pleasuring yourself.”
She knows why, or I assume she does, but she can’t comprehend. It’s not in her to withhold or think past her own satisfaction. It’s one of the things I’ve never understood about their marriage. Malachi is so much more than her. Deep. Thoughtful. Even if it is just for a game or amusement.
“Do you know where they are?” I ask.
“No.”
I nod and turn to walk from the room. I’ll find them, talk to her and see if I can get her to come home again. For whatever reason, I’m not comfortable leaving her here, and I’m also not comfortable being here with her. Everything blurs here, makes sensible thought impossible. As she’s finding out. But she’s had her time to be distracted. Life isn’t here, no matter how amusing the thought. Her life is back there, in my building without a husband.
“Gray?” I stop at the sound of Faith, and look back at her. “It’s just one fuck. One little fuck.”
One little fuck.
Maybe she’s right. One fuck. One need fulfilled with someone who seems able to tempt me past sense, and then it’ll be done. I’ll move on, forget, remember my responsibilities again and discard the thing that allowed me to feel density again for a short time. What harm would it do?
I watch my feet, as they walk along the corridors, and think of her legs wrapped around me. Tight. Soothing. Her lips were so soft, as they quivered on my own. Real. But then she swallowed another pill hoping for distraction. It’s a lie. All of it. The moment we leave everything will go back to normal. We’ll both be alone but for a few floors separating us, and neither of us will be able to act on the sensations we’ll need all the more because of our time here. Even the thought of me fucking her is a lie in reality. One fuck and I’ll have to pretend it never happened.
The music room is upon me before I get a chance to catch my bearings. The fallboard’s closed. Which means he’s closed down his emotions with it. I waver and frown, unsure how I feel about that. He’s more menacing without emotions than he is with them. Lacking emotions means mayhem, and mayhem for him means rebellion. War. That’s what he’s doing here – starting a war. He’s toying with me on a border and pushing me to cross a line. He needn’t bother. I crossed the damn line anyway when I lifted her away from him and let her push her pussy on my dick. But he’s still waiting for me somewhere, baiting me. No point.
Whether he knows it or not, he’s already won.
Swift feet take me from this damned room in search of them. Where? My head leads me, the ache in there making me scour for the scent of her or the low tone of him. He’ll have taken her somewhere nice, somewhere where she can enjoy her drug and he can watch her move. It’s probably her stance that intrigues him, her sense of disenchantment and then her sense of happiness in the middle of her trip.
They’re nowhere to be seen. Empty hallways.
Bare rooms.
I pause in the library, scanning over the upturned books and dust. Pretty? That’s what she said earlier. That everything was so pretty here. Nothing here is pretty. I look out the window, staring at the expanse out there. Pretty. Gardens.
Seconds turn into minutes until I find the old servants entrance and head out into the fresh air. It’s either here or back underneath us. He won’t do that yet. He’ll play up here first, tempt me into finding them.
