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Down, down, down.
“Harden up, Hannah. He’ll be an asshole when we go back. Enjoy the pills. They end when we leave these walls,” he says.
Go back?
A surge of enthusiasm reels through me and I giggle at his words, unsure how my Gray could be any more of an asshole than he already is. Beautiful asshole, but asshole nonetheless. “If you’re prepared for the ride, I’ll take you home soon.”
Home. No home.
No thuds.
But Gray’s there.
The elevator doors opens and I snatch glances left and right, maybe searching for him in the gloom even though he’s not here. Nothing. No scowling eyes or furrowed brow to anchor to. No low chuckle of amusement. I back into Malachi, still staring at the room and the feel of monsters that lurk in shadows, and then watch as they blur into insignificance. His arm wraps around my waist to pull me tighter against him, holding me close and easing the tension. There will be no monsters for me anymore. No memory of them either. I am alone and singular. Evolved.
Strong, but for the thought of Gray..
Chapter 3
Gray
A few days later.
“Mr Rothburg?"
I look up from the table and find Letti hovering behind the screens, her slightly portly face as cheery as usual. “You haven’t eaten today. Would you like supper before I leave?”
“I haven’t?”
“No. You said you weren’t hungry and shut the door on me. Twice.”
I frown, not remembering that, and take the visor from my face. She smiles again and watches as I close down the apparatus and put the relevant test-tubes into the correlating racks. Not eaten. When did I eat last? I don’t know.
I walk over to her and strip the gloves from me, depositing them into the trash can and then closing the door to the sterile space.
“What time is it?”
“Half past seven.” Is it? “Are you alright, Sir?” she asks, backing up out of the way. Alright? Clearly not if I’m losing time so succinctly.
“Yes.” I head for the stairs, turning through the halls. “If you wouldn’t mind preparing something small. I’ll be down in ten minutes.”
“Of course, Sir,” she says.
Having showered the attempt at a day’s work off me and changed, I head back down to the dining room and find a meal laid out. Steak, small at least, and an assortment of vegetables. I sit and sip some wine, my gaze casting out over the night sky around me, and debate the merits of eating. I’m not hungry. Haven’t been for a while, especially in these last few days that seem to have hazed by. I’m dismissive of food, uninterested in the bland taste. Probably the pills still idling inside me. They don’t leave for a while. They linger in the bloodstream, making usually relevant tasks irrelevant for some time.
My hands clasp under my chin, finger running back and forth over my lips, as I listen to Letti leaving the apartment. Idling. I’m doing that. Idling and wasting away. Wasting my life, too. It didn’t occur to me all that much before her. It does now. It occurs too often and too frequently for me to forget and find a way back to life before her.
Still – I pick up the cutlery – I’ll be lost from her thoughts now even if she isn’t from mine.
The phone rings while I’m eating. Malachi. I muse his name flashing on screen, wondering about the virtues of answering it. No need to. No reason to either. He’ll leave a message if it’s important, and I’ll call him back if I must. I don’t need the temptation from him. I’m struggling as it is, barely able to deny the pull that keeps taunting me with abandoning what I’m working for. His voice will not help me in the slightest. I’ll be back there. Living and dreaming, not thinking.
My hand waves over the phone, cutting the ringing off.
No.
No more until I’ve done what I need to do.
An hour's break and I head back to my study, somewhere near ready to carry on working, and then I notice the chain laid out where I left it earlier. Add in Malachi’s phone call and my logical brain is becoming as illogical as it can. A sigh grumbles from me, fingers picking up the gold without thought, and I head back through the apartment to get my coat. I need out of these walls for a while. Fresh air and hopefully fresh thoughts to go with it.
