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“What’s next?” I ask, fingering a possibly Ming vase.
“You need to get dressed for a party.”
“I don’t want a party. I don’t want anything other than the facts.”
“Liar.”
“He’s the liar.”
“I don’t think he ever lied to you, did he?”
“He didn’t tell me the reality either.”
“That’s not a lie.”
“But-" All six foot whatever of him stands up suddenly, his body moving towards mine swiftly looking like he’s ready for a ball regardless of hockey matches.
“Do you want him?”
My eyes look at the floor, confusion making me question that. I don’t know. Do I want the connection we had? Yes. Do I want someone that can abandon me so easily? No. I just want my truths. That’s all. After that I’ll make decision, work out if he’s part of it or not or if I want him or not.
Fingers clutching into my forearms, possibly for protection against whatever advance Malachi might go with next, I tap quietly to keep my rhythm strong. It’s harder than I thought now I’m back here and the pills have gone. Memories have come with the return, thoughts of Rick and what he did to me, why he did it at all. All the lies. All the time I thought we were strong and faithful.
My lips sneer, eyes directed at Malachi’s. Maybe the castle was better than here. Games.
“You never did tell me what your trick was. I earnt that.”
A smile spreads on his face, one arm wrapping around my shoulder to lead me out into the hallways. “Why, do you think it’ll work on Gray?”
“Might do.”
“No, it won’t. He’s too processed to allow it. Not a dreamer like you, and, out here, no pills to play with. But I’ll show you now we’re away from there.”
We amble through the rooms and eventually make it out into the dark gardens, where he sits me across from him on a small set of wrought iron chairs. Cold air blasts across my skin, making me grip tighter to my own flesh to ward off the chill. Something gets lifted out of his pocket, as he gets comfortable. It swings lightly in his grasp, a chain with a ball on the end of it.
“See, balls and chains. I knew it. You-”
He chuckles, but I barely hear it. It peters off to nothing but a low hum, as I stare, transfixed, at the object swinging like a pendulum. Back and forth, forth and back. Soft thoughts, relaxed thoughts. I can feel them inching over me, calming me. It's quiet, hushed whispers only. Clear and calm. Even the cold bite in the air seems to disappear now, leaving me with nothing but summer vibes, happy vibes.
“Hannah?”
“Mmmm.”
“This doesn’t work anymore. Repeat it.”
“This doesn’t work anymore.” Back and forth, forth and back. So pretty, like light brightening everything around us. Luminous. Bright and sparkly.
“Again.”
“This doesn’t work anymore.”
The swing of the chain becomes fractured, making me blink and stiffen at the vision. No flow. No ease in the back and forth anymore. And Malachi’s here, the look of him strong behind the object. Why is he here? I blink again, fingers grabbing against my frigid skin, and look through the object continuously swinging. Blurred.
I tap –tap, tap, tap– and then dig my nails into my skin to find reality again. I’m not in it here. I’m lost and wavering, unsure and floating rather than standing on my own two feet.
“Malachi says stand up.” No. “Malachi says spin.” No. “Malachi says suck me off.”
An involuntary snort pops out of my nose and I blink repeatedly, making sure his eyes seem real in the light around us. My neck cracks, shoulders rolling to get me up into his eye line.
