Page 24 of Darker Shades


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I set about cleaning Miri’s face and covering the bruising and red stains and blotches from her tears. She doesn’t say a word, and I don’t speak to her either. My breathing is fast, and my stomach feels like there’s a lead weight dragging me down into an abyss.

But I can’t think like that. I can’t let fear win.

I can be frightened tomorrow or at the end of this.

When we’re safe.

After I’ve fixed Miri’s face and applied the makeup as we were shown, Miri’s all smokey eyed and sultry. Nothing like the baby sister I know and love.

There aren’t many girls left in the room. One by one, we’re being picked off and expected to do God knows what in order to be sold to the highest bidder.

It’s like that realisation strikes through my body and hardens my fear into courage because I’m going to need every ounce I have to get through this, and I’m going to need Miri to find her own, too.

“Okay, look, look.” I move so I’m directly in her eye line. “I need you to be brave. I need you to bury all your fear and doubts and put on a mask that nobody can see through. Do you hear me? I need to see that spirited girl who bought alcohol at the bar, who told me that everything would be okay.” I shake her hands as I squeeze them, forcing her to snap into fight mode because we need to fight through this. “You heard what Jackson said. Carry on as normal, and we need to put on a performance.” My smile is forced as I watch her big blue eyes look at me. All I can see is the fear and questions she’s not dared to utter, and I won’t make her either.

“Do you trust him?” she asks.

“We don’t have a choice if we want to get out of this.”

“But then what? You slept with him.”

“For us. For a way out. A chance. That’s all we need because I can’t comprehend the alternative.” I mean every word. But there’s also a sliver of thought that I wanted to sleep with him, simply because I wanted to. There’s been a small thread of connection that’s only pulled us closer to each other since we arrived. Going to him – helping him – wasn’t just a calculated move. And sleeping with Jackson was in no way a chore.

“We need to finish getting ready.”

It doesn’t take us long to be dressed in the scraps of fabric that are meant to make us look desirable and sexy. “We’re playing a role, Miri. This isn’t us. We just need to get through tonight.” I hold onto those words as if the honesty of them will provide the salvation we’re hoping for, but in the back of my mind, I know if I squeeze too hard, they might crumble to ash.

The trainer enters, her smile an uncharacteristic feature on her put-together face.

She looks at me.“Shoes,” she commands, noting my bare feet. I want to throw them at her, but I force that urge down. “Come.”

But I can’t move. My legs don’t move. Fear paralyses me. Not for what might happen to me, but leaving Miri. I turn to her but see she’s pulled a mask over her face with the help of all the makeup. She’s unrecognisable.

“I’ll be back for you. I promise.” I hug her, and her arms wrap around my neck, keeping me close. “I love you. Just do as we’ve been told. Don’t be frightened.” I whisper my words, hoping they’ll give her a shred of strength.

“Come!”

Reluctantly, I let her go and pick up the killer heels as I walk to the woman who’s orchestrated our fate.

Before she leads me out of the room, she stops and turns to me. I don’t know if she’s having second thoughts or if she’s going to slap me again. “You know, Five, you have huge potential. It doesn’t have to be a fight all of the time.” Her face softens for a split second, and in that moment, I see a glimpse of the woman she once was. In my place, perhaps. “Make your time count. Remember what we taught you, and all of this will be over soon.”

She doesn’t check if I’m following and walks out and through the corridors. I refuse to look back before the door closes. If I see Miri looking at me, I won’t be able to go through with this.

My eyes search for Jackson in every dark shadow we pass and every door we enter, but no sign of him. Then, finally, we arrive in a room with a funny platform in the centre, two meters or so square. The space is how I’d imagine a backstage area of a theatre. There are a few doors leading this way and that, a table with bottles of water, a coat stand with what looks like a robe hanging from it.

“Your time to shine. Step up. You’ll rise through the trapdoor. Show everybody what you have to offer, and that’s it.” She nods to the centre square, and I gingerly take my place. Taking a deep breath, I try to stave off the panic that’s swarming.

Will Jackson be able to get us out of this? And when? Have we missed the chance?

The platform starts to move, and I’m lifted up into a plastic box. I twist to look around, but the lights shining at me are all I can see. Golden yellow illuminates everything, blocking my view.

Perhaps a blessing.

Music begins, a heavy beat, and I know that’s my cue.

I use the confines of the box to my advantage and spread my arms wide to either side, planting my palms out wide and tilting my head back to let my hair fall. With the rhythm of the music, I move, ensuring everyone can see me, twisting, bending, and stretching in as sexy and enticing a way as possible.

My mind flits to Jackson as if I’m enticing him – dancing for him.It eases my awkwardness and smooths some of my movements. I trail my hands up my legs, over my breasts and through my hair, and in my mind, they're his hands running over my skin.

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