AllFreeNovel
Share Us
She finished buttoning her shirt and bent to pull on her shoes. He watched as she slipped on her coat and walked around the bed.
She sat on the edge of the mattress, looked down at him, and reached out to lay her palm against his face. He removed her hand and held it in his like he stood a chance in hell of keeping her there when it was obvious she was already halfway out the door.
“It was all true,” she said. “It’s real. I’ve always been yours.”
“Then why…?”
She drew in a breath and he saw that she was choking back a sob. “I can’t explain it, Nolan. Please… if you’ve ever loved me, don’t ask me to.”
He sat up and threw his legs over the bed so that he was sitting next to her. “Give me something, Bridge. Something to help me understand.”
She pulled her hand away. “I’ve given you all I have. I wish there was more. I wish…” She sighed. “I wish so many things.”
He felt the weight of something invisible and poisonous between them. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with this.” He couldn’t keep the anger out of his voice. “What you want me to do with this.”
“I don’t know either. I’m just trying to figure this out, the same as you.”
He shook his head. “Not the same as me.”
He knew what he wanted. He wanted her, not just now but forever.
“It’s just too much right now,” she said. “Owen and whatever’s going to happen with Seamus… I’m barely keeping my head up. I can’t think about anything else right now.”
“Then let me help,” he said. “With Owen, at least.”
He caught the flash of anger in her eyes before she stood. “I knew you’d do this,” she said sadly.
“I’m trying to help.”
“I understand that, but this isn’t the kind of help I need from you.”
“Then what is? Just… fucking tell me what you want.” He ran a hand through his hair in frustration. He was standing next to the bed, naked as the day he was born, shouting at her.
“I want time. That’s all. Just time to figure it out.”
“Four years wasn’t enough to know whether you want to be with me?” He hated how bitter he sounded.
“It’s not about that,” she said. “It’s not about you.”
“Than what’s it about?” he asked.
She stepped closer, wrapped her arms around his waist, and looked up at him. “It’s about me and the mess I’ve gotten myself into. I know you want to help, but I have to figure this out on my own. Can you let me do that?”
He looked down at her. “That’s what you want? What you need?”
She nodded.
He exhaled and shook his head. He wanted to sweep her into his bed and keep her there, to hear her say she loved him, to know that she wasn’t going to disappear again.
But this was love, wasn’t it? Giving someone what they needed even when it broke your heart? Even when it brought you to your knees? Did he love her enough to do that?
He didn’t even have to think about it.
“Okay, Bridge.” He bent his head and rested his forehead against hers. “I fucking hate it, but okay. Just don’t forget that I’m here, that I always will be.”
“I won’t.”
He nodded and stepped away.
