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Chapter Seventeen
Payton
Yesterday was chaotic at work, but nothing compared to a family dinner. The Summer sisters have descended upon our childhood home for an afternoon of bickering over the pros and cons between Batman vs. Superman, and eating too much of Grandma’s chili. I’m in favor of Batman. There’s something about that hard plastic suit and pocketful of gadgets. And come on: Batmobile. That alone puts him over the top in the coolness factor.
“Superman can fly, Payton. Batman can’t, even though he’s a bat,” Josh argues with me from across the table.
“Plus, he has heat-ray vision, Pay,” Meghan adds, smiling adoringly at her fiancé.
Their over-the-top cutesiness is nauseating at times, but today, I find myself dealing with their cheesy pet names and constant heavy petting. Though, I will say that their groping isn’t nearly as bad as Jaime and Ryan who are practically dry humping under the table.
“You’re so right, babe,” he coos, reaching over and touching the tip of her nose.
Okay, that’s a little nauseating.
“Heat-ray vision doesn’t even factor on the coolness chart compared to Batman’s…well, all the cool things Batman can do!” I defend lamely.
“See! You can’t even think of anything! Superman wins!” Meghan exclaims.
Talking to them is easy today. I’d rather deal with their eternal relationship bliss than whatever is going on down at the other end of the table. Jaime and Ryan are oblivious to it as they all but make little Ryans beneath the plastic floral tablecloth. Something is going on with Lexi and Abby. They both seemed all right Friday night when we had dinner, but they’re both off today.
Lexi and Chris have barely spoken since they arrived, and she refuses to make eye contact. Probably to hide her red-rimmed eyes so that we wouldn’t jump all over her for details on why she’s been crying. And Levi arrived a few minutes before dinner was served, but Abby won’t even look his way. In fact, she looks almost pained to be sitting beside him.
It makes me wonder what’s going on there. Well, both relationships, actually. If you can actually call what Levi and Abby have a relationship. They’re friends, first and foremost, and I’d bet the ownership papers on my shop, they both feel something deeper than friendship.
And Lexi and Chris? I just don’t know. She wants a baby, this is a fact that she doesn’t attempt to hide. When he’s around, he acts as if they’re the perfect couple, but refuses to acknowledge that something could be wrong with their baby-making abilities. I wonder if she’s talked further to her OB or to her husband. She didn’t bring it up Friday, and knowing that it’s a sensitive subject, I stayed as far away from that topic as humanly possible.
“Ladies! Great news,” Grandma says as she comes into the dining room with a pineapple upside down cake. “I signed up for a home party, and you are all required to be there.” Grandma sets down the dessert and starts dishing up the sweet, gooey cake.
“Oh, is it a kitchen gadgets party? I really need to get a few things for the house,” Jaime says, pulling her attention away from playing tonsil hockey with her boyfriend.
“No, not kitchen gadgets,” Grandma says, passing around little plates.
“How about makeup? I’ve been thinking of doing a makeover,” Abby says softly, almost too quietly to hear. Everyone glances over at her and there’s no way to miss the look Levi gives her.
“A makeover? You don’t need to change anything,” he protests loudly. And while I agree with him, the look on my baby sister’s face says she strongly disagrees.
“No, not makeup, Abs. This is something different. Something fun.”
“Then what?” AJ asks between bites.
“A sex toy party.”
Fortunately for me, I wasn’t shoveling a heap of fluffy cake in my face when those words spilled from my grandmother’s mouth. Unfortunately for AJ, she was, and she instantly begins choking. No, not really choking, but more of an it-went-down-the-wrong-pipe moment. Abby’s lucky she didn’t get sprayed with spitty cake particles from across the table.
“Dear God, did she just say sex toy party?” Jaime half-whispers, half-yells at Ryan.
“Oh, don’t be a stick in the mud, Jaimers. We all have the sex. It’s a natural part of life. I want to explore and revel in it.”
“Yeah, but I don’t think you’re supposed to explore with your grandkids in the room,” my dad says with a look that shows he’s as unsettled by this as we all are.
“Why not? We’re all adults here. We can talk about vibrators and butt plugs together.”
“Jesus, she said butt plugs,” Meghan groans.
“I expect you all to be there. I get a free Pocket Rocket for being the hostess,” she adds, clapping her hands triumphantly. “Now, dig in. It’s super moist.”
“Is she talking about the cake?” Ryan asks, earning a slap across the shoulder from Jaime. “What? We were just discussing a sex party and Pocket Rocket at a family dinner, and I can’t say moist? Excuse me for being confused, because it could have gone either way.”
