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Chapter Twenty-Seven
Abby
I had no idea the human body could shed so many tears.
Which is funny considering six months ago, I watched my sister Meghan’s world shatter around her as she lost her fiancé, Josh. Those tears never seem to dry. Those tears were constant, day and night, and I almost feel guilty comparing my misery and heartache to something as monumental as losing the love of your life.
Levi wasn’t that for me.
He proved it by using me as a pawn in some sick and twisted game of chess. Well, checkmate, Levi. You win.
My mind keeps trying to figure out why. Why did he search me out on that stupid dating site? Why did he befriend me and carry on as if he had no clue who I was for a month? Why would he take me out on dates and make love to me with his stupid magic penis? Okay, no it’s not magic, but it is pretty fabulous. And most importantly, why would he lie about all of the above?
My heart and my head are doing battle. My heart tells me to talk to him, that there’s more to it than a juvenile game of cat and mouse. My heart tells me my Levi would never intentionally hurt me the way he has. My heart tells me that love can overcome anything, even when the one your heart is calling for betrays you.
My head, on the other hand, tells me to rid the world of the no-good, too handsome, lying, cheating bastard. Okay, yes, my head might be caught up in a bit of melodrama, but whatever. He didn’t cheat. At least, I don’t think so.
See? My head is in a funky place right now. I need to take some time, think about what I really want out of this relationship, and talk to him. Of course, if he doesn’t really want a real relationship, then what I want doesn’t matter, does it?
Stupid head.
I need my space. As much as I love spending time with my dad and grandparents, they’re hovering as if I’m about to go postal any moment and start picking people off with a sniper rifle from the clock tower. And our town doesn’t even have a clock tower.
That’s why I’m loading up my car to head back to my place. As soon as my bag was packed, I sent Lexi a text message, asking if the coast was clear. I know she was there earlier today. I know she talked to him. She never once pushed me, but just kept saying that when I was ready, I really needed to speak with him.
Maybe it’s not as bad as I think? First off, Levi wouldn’t still be breathing if Lexi got a hold of him. The fact that she talked to him, and didn’t rip off his balls like she said she was going to, is telling in itself.
Yeah, there’s only one way to find out what has really been going on, but today is not going to be that day. Right now, I just want to curl up on my couch, watching mindless, boring television, and get bloated eating too much Rocky Road ice cream. Maybe eat raw cookie dough for good measure.
“You know, I could go over and speak to the young man, if you’d like,” Grandpa says from my doorway.
Glancing at the aged man who acts like he isn’t a day over thirty, I can’t help but smile. “Oh, and how do you know it’s a young man?”
He enters my bedroom and takes a seat on my bed. “Well, beside the fact that your grandmother came to bed last night cursing like a sailor on a three-day bender at a whore house about the stupidity of the male species? I might be old, sweetheart, but my eyesight is fantastic. It’s Levi, right?”
Unable to speak, I nod my head.
“Well, that boy has always been a little slow on the upswing, sugar. Even when he was younger, he was impulsive and reckless. Scared the bejesus out of all of us a few too many times,” Grandpa says with a fond smile. “But he’s always loved you, even if he didn’t realize it until recently.”
“Why does everyone keep saying that?” I ask curiously with a humorless laugh. It’s not likely Levi called up my grandpa and told him all about his feelings for his granddaughter or anything.
“Anyone in a five mile radius can see it, sweetie. Everyone but you.” I start to deny, shaking my head frantically, when he cuts me off. “No, don’t even try to deny it. We’ve all known for a while, but apparently, you’re a little slow too. Maybe that’s what makes you two perfect for each other,” he adds with a chuckle.
“Can I ask you something?” He nods as I take a seat beside him. “What would you do if Grandma lied to you?”
“Without knowing the circumstances, that’s hard to say. I guess if it was something she felt like she was protecting me from, then I’d forgive. I love your grandma more than anything, so it would have to be pretty bad for me to walk away. When we married, I vowed to love and protect her, and because of those vows, I’d like to think I’d do everything within my power to make our marriage work, and that includes forgiveness.”
“I wish it were just a simple decision,” I tell him.
“The things worth fighting for rarely are. Listen, I don’t know what Levi did, but I know you’ll weigh all of your options and make the right decisions where he’s concerned. Just make sure they’re not rash ones. Hear him out and then make your choice. Okay?”
“Okay,” I tell my grandpa, wrapping my arms around his frail shoulders and holding on tight.
“And if you need help burying the body, you call us. Your grandmother and I are pros at establishing alibis when the time calls for one,” he says with a straight face. At first, I laugh, but I’m suddenly not so sure he’s joking.
With a warm, comforting hug and my bag in hand, he walks me down the stairs–okay, I might help him more than he helps me, even though he’s still amazingly agile for a man his age.
The August sun is still shining high in the sky, even for late afternoon. After my dad throws my bag back into the trunk, I head out and make the short trip back to my apartment. I just pray Levi’s on duty tonight so that I don’t risk running into him. I’m not sure I’m strong enough not to throw my arms around him and beg him to love me.
