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The water turned cold before I finally got out of the shower. My body is bone tired, considering the double run today and the fact that I haven’t slept well for the past two nights. My sheets smell of lavender and sex, which makes me painfully hard that I have to jerk off just to get any relief. I’ve thought about changing the sheets, but every time I go to remove them, the realization that her scent may be gone forever keeps me from replacing them.
How pathetic is that?
Pretty fucking sad, if you ask me.
I’m lying in bed, Sports Center on as background noise, when my phone dings.
My heart rate spikes when I see her name, but then plummets into my stomach when I read her words.
AJ: Thank you for a great weekend. See you around.
She’s telling me goodbye. My fingers fly across the letters as I start to reply, but then reality sets in. No one wants or deserves a text apology. She deserves one where she can look into my eyes and see the honesty in my words, because when I finally talk to her, I’m going to be brutally honest.
I delete everything I started to write.
I type a more casual, breezy response, but that won’t work either. My feelings for her are neither casual nor breezy.
So I delete that too.
For the life of me, I can’t come up with something that’s fitting for the moment, considering I have so much to say.
So instead of replying, I set my phone down.
Yeah, I know what you’re gonna say and you’d be right. Probably my second biggest fuck-up in as many days.
Grabbing the remote, I turn off the television and get to work on my plan of how I’m going to make this right with the only woman I’ve wanted since my wife ripped my heart out. AJ Summer may just be the balm I need to finally heal after betrayal.
