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Chapter Twenty-Five
AJ
As the warmth of September transforms into a slightly cooler October, Sawyer and I seem to fall into our own comfortable routine. I spend most evenings at his place, curled up at his side while I grade papers. We take turns making dinner, though by the time a meal is finished, we’re usually both pitching in and doing it together. We stop at the café every morning to get a coffee and breakfast pastry, which is not going so well for my growing ass.
Turns out though, I really like watching Sawyer while he works out.
I mean, working out with him. Yeah. That’s what I meant.
It’s Saturday night, and was my night to pick our monthly sisters’ night activity. I’m so excited to go! We’re headed to the batting cages later, where we’ll swing the bats and indulge in too much pizza and cheap beer. Sawyer helped me secure free reign of the facility tonight, which I’m sure cost him a pretty penny, but the manager’s son is one of Sawyer’s pitchers for the upcoming spring baseball season. I’m pretty sure he just had to make a few calls. Sawyer just dropped us off and is running to get the pizza and beer for tonight’s shindig.
Meghan follows me into the building through the back entrance. She’s been quiet since we picked her up in Sawyer’s car. I asked if everything was okay, to which she said was fine, but I can tell something’s wrong. Maybe she just didn’t want to say anything in front of Sawyer? I just won’t force the issue or make her feel required to talk. When she’s ready, she’ll spill.
Jaime and Payton arrive next, Ryan and Dean hot on their heels. I expect them to just drop the girls and go, but apparently when there’s baseball involved, there is no getting rid of them for even a minute. The guys head over to a side table, but they’re chomping at the bit to get into the cages.
Abby and Levi arrive next. They’re barely inside the door when it opens again. Everyone turns and then squeals in delight when we see Lexi and Linkin, each carrying a car seat through the door.
“Holy balls, what are you doing here?” Payton yell-whispers as we all gather around the two sleeping infants.
“He insisted I come tonight,” Lexi says, pointing to Linkin, as she gently sets Hemi’s seat on the table.
“I wanted her to get out of the house for a bit,” Linkin adds, starting to remove the restraining buckles from little Hudson.
“There was no way I was leaving them for even a second,” Lexi says, carefully removing tiny little Hemi from the seat. We all hold our breath as she maneuvers our youngest nephew into the crook of her arm. “I’m just not ready for that,” Lexi adds, tears filling her eyes.
“So we agreed to come for a little bit,” Linkin says, running a finger along the top of his son’s sleeping head. “It’s their first official outing besides seeing the doc.”
“Can I hold him?” Payton asks, her eyes misty.
“Of course,” Linkin agrees, kissing Hudson’s head as he gingerly sets his boy in Payton’s waiting arms. God, he’s such a good dad.
Payton walks over and sits down beside Dean, her eyes glued to the boy in her arms. There’s no missing the way she cries as she holds him close, whispering words that we can’t hear. Dean and Payton want a baby, but with her PCOS, it makes it very difficult to conceive. In fact, she was told it may never happen.
“How about it, Aunt AJ. Want a turn with this little one?” Lexi asks, standing beside me. My heart speeds up as it always does when I hold one of my nephews, but my breathing gets all weird too when I hold Hemi. In fact, I’ve only held him once. He’s so small and was in the hospital a few extra days to make sure his own breathing was where it needed to be and he was eating well.
“I’m not sure,” I whisper, taking in his itty-bitty little body.
“You got this,” she assures me, and nods to the chair beside me.
Sitting down, my hands start to shake as she slowly and gently lowers him into my arms. He’s light and I feel like my arm swallows him whole as I gaze down at the perfect little person I’m holding. He yawns big, holding my complete attention. My face starts to hurt from my smile, but I keep it there, along with my eyes, watching every move he makes.
There’s movement and talking around me, but my eyes are glued to the baby. I feel his presence before I see him. Sawyer slides onto the chair beside me and leans in to look at Hemi. He reaches over, his pointer finger gigantic compared to my nephew’s tiny hand as he gently strokes the soft baby skin of Hemi’s knuckles. Gently, I rock him from side to side, not really knowing what more I’m supposed to do with a sleeping baby.
As I stare down at the sweet little face, I feel Sawyer’s eyes on me. He’s watching me watch the baby. When I glance over, the rawness and tenderness of this moment strikes me like a lightning bolt. His eyes are full of emotions, ones that I’m sure match mine. “Do you want to hold him?” I whisper, afraid of waking him up.
“No way. I’m afraid I’ll break him,” Sawyer replies quietly with a grin.
“They tell me that’s not how it works, but I’m still skeptical. He’s so small,” I reply, glancing back down again.
“He’s perfect. A real fighter.”
“He is.”
Silence follows, which makes me glance up at the man beside me. I’ve always known I’d want to be a mother someday, but this is the first time I can really picture it happening. I can see a small little boy with his dad’s brown hair and blue eyes or maybe a little girl with dark ringlets and deep blue-green eyes that’s the perfect mix of her mother and father. My heart practically leaps from my chest.
Sawyer’s blue eyes smile back at me, a reflection of feelings neither of us has spoken aloud. I know where this is heading for me, but is it heading in that direction for Sawyer too? When he looks at me with so much adoration and gentleness, it makes me feel like we’re taking major steps toward Lovesville, population two.
He leans forward, his lips warm and soft against mine. It’s a tender, closed-mouth kiss, but causes the same butterflies to take flight in my belly as every other kiss he gives me. We’re interrupted by the creature in my arms who decides to let a bloodcurdling wail rip from his tiny little body.
