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“Max. He’s four.”
“He’s you,” I reply, still smiling down at the image on the screen. They look so much alike it’s almost scary.
“He is,” Jensen replies, his own smile evident in his words. When he takes the phone from my extended hand, our fingers graze, shooting electric currents through my bloodstream. His eyes widen, as if maybe he felt it too, but it’s quickly dashed away as his face turns serious. “I need to head home. Max is missing his favorite baseball and I need to see if he left it at my place.”
I nod, unable to find words. A deep sadness suddenly sweeps in at the thought of Jensen leaving. We’ve barely reconnected, but I’m not ready to let him go. There’s still so much to say, so much to talk about.
“We’ll be back at seven tomorrow morning. We made great progress on the removal today. Tomorrow we should have the rest of the old cleared out and ready to plant new,” he says, standing tall and easily slipping into work mode.
Of course.
That’s why he’s here.
“Good,” I reply, my voice hoarse, as I wrap my arms around my chest to ward off the sudden chill.
He glances my way once more, his own internal battle evident in those soulful blue eyes. I want to speak, but I just can’t. For someone who’s made a decent living off of bullshitting with words, I can’t believe how much I’ve been struggling today. Yet, I know what the reason is, and he’s standing just over six feet tall in front of me.
“I’m sure I’ll see you tomorrow,” he says, watching my every move.
Again, I nod. I seem to be doing that a lot lately.
He doesn’t say goodbye, a realization that hurts more than I could have possibly imagined, but turns and heads toward the side of the house. I only watch him go for a few seconds before it becomes too painful. Instead, I turn to the ocean and watch the waves crash along the sandy shore.
It feels like hours as I stand there and watch the water, but in reality, it’s mere seconds. Seconds I can sense eyes on me. Unable to fight it any longer, I slowly turn and find Jensen standing at the edge of the house, next to a large pile of fresh dirt. But he’s not looking at the earth. No, he’s watching me.
Our eyes connect for several heartbeats before he finally turns and walks away.
Breathing a deep sigh of relief, I gaze back to the ocean, the sound of his truck firing to life echoing off the waves. I stand there for a while, running through the day, the construction, and finally, seeing Jensen for the first time in more than a decade.
He was always the best looking boy in school, but now, Jensen Grayson is all man. A gorgeous man, at that. He obviously got married to a woman named Ashley and has a son, Max. The happiness that radiated through the wallpaper photo on his phone was evident, and reminds me of a time when I used to be standing beside him in photographs.
Pushing those thoughts aside, I head back to the house. I have a lot of cleaning I want to do yet this evening and more furniture to go through. Some of it’ll be off to the resale shop soon, but there are a few pieces I’m keeping. Yet, as much as I try to forget finding him standing in my backyard, I just can’t seem to move past it. Or the look on his face when he realized I was the new owner. Or the feeling that came over me when I thought he was married. Or the look of angst on his face when he pushed his emotions aside and walked away.
That’s the image that keeps replaying over and over again in my mind.
I knew coming home might lead me to running in to him, eventually. I definitely didn’t expect it to happen so soon—or conjure up those ghosts I thought had been long buried. But here we are, shovels in hand, and those ghosts standing right next to us.
Good thing I’m a strong, independent woman, right? I can handle this, working side by side for the unforeseeable future. Who knows, it might actually do me some good. Maybe I’ll finally be able to let go of the past that’s been holding me back.
Maybe now I’ll finally be free.
