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Glancing to my side, I realize what.
It’s Freedom.
Having her beside me, hearing her laugh and carry on with my family, fills a void in my chest. That hollow feeling is replaced with something else.
Love.
I realize, in the midst of everything, I’m falling in love with her. Hell, I probably have been for a while, just too stubborn and stupid to realize it. But we’re so different, you know? Oil and water, that’s us. Yet, here we are, coexisting at home and even working together the last two days. If I were being completely honest with myself, working beside her at the funeral home has been a bit unbelievable. She brings a sweet chaos to my calmness, and I didn’t realize I desperately wanted or needed it.
For the first time in my life, I don’t feel alone.
Guilt sweeps in once more. The divorce papers were delivered yesterday. Fortunately, Freedom was arranging some of the flowers that had arrived an hour before. I was happy to let her have the moment, knowing I was going to rearrange them as soon as she was done. Then, the carrier walked through the door and had me sign. The moment he left, I shoved the large envelope into my shoulder bag, where they still are today.
“You okay?” The woman I can’t seem to stop thinking about is staring at me, concern written all over her beautiful face.
“Oh, yeah. Fine.” Clearing my throat, I glance around and realize everyone is moving. The ladies are headed to the living room, while the guys are collecting the dirty dishes. “I’m going to help,” I add, reaching for the stack of plates in her hand.
“The girls are going to overshare and have margaritas on the back deck. I’ll see you in a bit?” she says, leaning in but then stopping herself. It’s as if she realizes what she is doing, but stops before our lips actually meet.
I stand up tall and nod, quickly making my escape to the kitchen. Rhenn is rinsing the dirty dishes and handing them to Jensen, who places them in Mom’s industrial-sized dishwasher. Latham is over scooping the leftovers into bowls, so after I set the rest of the dirty dishes down on the counter, I head over to help him.
“You’ve been working and living with Free, and you’re both still alive?” Latham breaks the silence in the kitchen.
“Well,” I start, clearing my throat. My hand moves up to my tie, where I adjust the already pristine Windsor knot. “It wasn’t easy at first. She repainted my living room.”
Silence wraps around me as they all turn and gaze my way. “Seriously? Like a soft beige or, maybe, ivory?” Jensen asks.
“Uh, no. Soothing Sunset Coral.”
Rhenn barks out a laugh. “She painted your place pink? The man who hates color has a pink house?” He can’t control his laughter. “That’s fucking golden. I knew I loved that girl for a reason.”
I stand up straight and glare at my future brother-in-law before I even realize I’m doing it.
“Oh! Did you see that?” Jensen bellows, pointing at my face.
“Definitely. I think he was about ready to rumble with Rhenn over Free,” Latham chimes in.
“I was not.” My argument falls on deaf ears.
“Oh, there was definite anger on that face,” Rhenn agrees with a grin. “I was scared a little.”
“There wasn’t… I wasn’t…”
“Samuel and Freedom sitting in a tree,” Jensen sings, like the annoying little brother he’s always been.
“Shut up,” I retort, like the older annoyed brother I’ve always been.
“Boys, boys, boys, let’s not fight. Samuel can’t help it he’s falling in love with Freedom,” Latham replies, making them all laugh. It’s supposed to be a joke, one at my expense, but I can’t seem to muster the will to laugh along with them.
Mostly because it’s not funny.
When Rhenn sees I’m not laughing, nor am I annoyed, he stops snickering and his face turns seriously. “Holy shit.”
“What?” Jensen asks, glancing my way.
Rhenn takes a step forward. “You really did. You fell in love with her.”
I open my mouth to argue, but I can’t.
