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“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Rueben. We’re very excited to hear what Cricket has to say today,” he says, taking a quick moment to introduce Rueben to the others at the table.
When the pleasantries are done, Rueben heads back to his table to await his turn to get food. I take a seat and nibble at the food on my plate, my stomach a little better now that he came to wish me luck once more.
“So, Cricket, anymore thought to the offer in LA?” Danny asks, picking up a piece of bacon and shoving the entire thing in his mouth.
“Actually, yes,” I answer and take a bite of pineapple.
“Well?”
“Well, what? You think I’m going to tell you whether or not I’m accepting the offer?”
“Well…yes!”
“Sorry, Danny, but that’s not going to happen. I’ll call George myself and tell him.” George being the general manager who offered me the job.
I can feel his eyes on me, but I don’t look his way. Instead, I focus on my food and trying to get it down my tight throat. I spy Rueben’s table getting up and heading toward the food, his eyes on me nearly the entire time. He looks concerned, as if he wishes he were up front with me, holding my hand, and reassuring me everything is going to be great. He offers me silent support so strong, I can feel it from across the room. There’s also something else in his eyes that gives me pause.
Appreciation.
Respect.
Gratitude.
All things I’ve never really associated with past relationships.
But is this a real relationship?
Yes.
I feelthatdeep in my bones too. Even if there’s an end looming in the background, I feel so much more with Rueben than I’ve felt in a long time. If ever. There was no way to stop it. It blindsided me like a linebacker rushing the quarterback. It caught me completely off guard and knocked me on my ass. Rueben knocked me on my ass.
But the crazy part of it all is that I like it.
I like Rueben, maybe even like him a lot.
I like the way he makes me feel.
It’s all I think about as they collect our plates and the speeches begin. It’s not Danny’s words about being the best and rising to the top that have my attention, it’s the man sitting at a table toward the back, absently pushing his glasses up on his nose. His eyes are on me, the slightest of smiles teasing his full lips. Lips that I’ve felteverywhereand am already wondering when I can feel them again.
“Thank you so much, Daniel Ohara. And now, I welcome Miss Cricket Hill to the podium.”
There’s a round of applause as I stand and glance to the front. My tablet is sitting on the table, but I don’t reach for it. Suddenly, all of those words I spent hours, days even, pouring over don’t seem right. They aren’t the message I want to send today. So, I leave the device at my seat and walk confidently to the podium, even though my heart is racing and my palms are sweaty.
“Good morning,” I say, adjusting the microphone to accommodate my height. I glance around the room, at the hundreds of eyes all focused on me. My old friends are smiling proudly, waiting for me to begin. Danny is off to my left, checking his phone before glancing back up at me expectantly. And then there’s Rueben. He’s sitting up tall in his seat, his hands in his lap as he waits for me to begin. He gives me a smile, one that calms my nerves and sends the message that he’s here, for me and with me.
As my friend…and as my boyfriend.
Life’s too short to be anything but happy.
Clearing my throat, I open my mouth and speak. “I’m honored to have been asked to speak to you all today, as an alumnus of Southern Illinois University.”
Deep breath. “When I graduated college, I was afraid. Things in my life hadn’t happened the way I had always envisioned them. Everything I had expected, had known, changed, and I was left reeling and trying to figure out what was next.
“My plan was California. I had an entry position at a small television station and was set to begin my career the next week. Over the course of the next few years, I put in the time and dedication, and moved up the ladder. I loved my job. Then, one day, it changed. I was…” My eyes close for a second as I try to slow my racing heart.
I look over at Danny, at his cocky smirk, the message he’s sending is that his speech was better, his job is better. Then I look out at the crowd, to Rueben. He gives me the slightest nod, encouraging me to continue, to speak from the heart.
“Jobs change. Careers change. Life happens. Just like my life changed after college graduation. I was in a new city, a new state, and didn’t know a soul. My family was supportive of my dream, and while they may have tried to convince me to find something closer, they never stopped believing in me. And while support of your family and friends is important, believing in yourself is key.
