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My eyes land on her small hands on my chest like hot embers. She tries to pull them away, but my hand reacts quicker, halting their descent. “Leave them. I love your touch on my skin,” I whisper. My index finger finds the edge of her shorts and slowly traces upward. “The same way I know you love mine on yours. We don’t hate each other. You don’t really hate me, and I don’t hate you. We are just…” I trail off.
She squirms and says, “Kalum, you have a girlfriend. It’s not right.”
My eyes close instantly, regretting having Sarah as my girlfriend. “I don’t want Sarah,” I say softly. My eyes open and her eyes glitter from the moonlight streaming from her bedroom window. “I don’t love her. I thought I could stop the attraction I have for you by being with someone else. But I can’t, Aura. Nothing works. There’s this fire in you that calls to me.”
She sniffs and snuggles her cheek against the pillow. My fingers trail higher on the skin of her thigh, getting closer to the center of her core. She grips my hand and slowly raises it to my chest. “That is not going to happen,” she says.
“Do you mean right now or never?” I ask with a grin.
“When the right person comes along.”
“Marcus Johnson was the right person?”
I want to know how that is even possible with the way he treated her. Aura didn’t deserve that. It was cruel and downright messed up.
“That’s just the thing, I kind of knew deep down he wasn’t.” She shrugs her shoulder. “It’s probably why I’m not hurt or jealous about him sleeping with her. It was the fact that he lied and told me things that weren’t true. That is what hurt me the most and then my friend Gina. She knew, and she didn’t tell me.”
It can’t be. It’s just not possible.
“Aura?”
“Yes,” she answers, licking her lips.
“Have you ever…” I trail off, not wanting to sound like I’m interested in one thing.
“No. If you are asking me what I think you are, the answer is no. I have never slept with a guy before.”
I nod because I feel like I swallowed my tongue. Holy shit. Aura is a virgin.
“That is not possible.”
“When you have had the same boyfriend since freshman year and turned him down many times. Yes, it is possible. Like, I said. It didn’t feel right. Now I know why.”
“He doesn’t deserve you.”
Neither do you.I tell myself. I don’t deserve someone like her. It makes sense why Marcus was so defensive about her. She never allowed him to sleep with her and then she found out about his lies. It felt good to punch him in his face for hurting her. I did it all for her, not caring if I had a girlfriend and I would do it all over again.
“I guess,” she mutters.
“Are you crying because you miss your parents?”
She gives me a slight nod. “I’m not an expert on death or anything. I can’t tell you I know how it feels because I don’t, but I do know one thing.” I point toward the swell of her breasts.
Her nipples are hard under her shirt, teasing me to touch them. “They live inside you. You have the precious gift of their memories. No one has them but you, and they will live through you. You need to celebrate their life and be happy you had their love. Show the people you care about how much you know how to love because some people live their whole lives and never experience it.”
“Have you?”
“Have I what, sweetheart?”
Her tongue peeks out and she wets her lips. “Been in love with someone.”
My thumb traces her jaw down to her chin. I’m relieved she doesn’t pull away from my touch. I have never been in love with any girl, and I have never had a girlfriend until Sarah.
“No. Never.”
She changes the subject before I get to ask her the same question. Has she ever loved someone? Do I want to know?
“I stopped crying. You can go.”
