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Reed chuckled, then reached over and flipped off the lamp. The room plunged into darkness. “If he can’t see us …” He let the words dangle there.
Esther’s heart took off again. She was surprised Reed would disregard her dad’s instructions like that. He pulled her tighter to his side, but instead of devouring her mouth again like she longed for him to do, he tucked her head against his shoulder and tenderly trailed his fingers across her back.
“I’m just kidding. That was …” His voice got deeper. “Incredible. I’ll wait until we’re married to kiss you that passionately again.”
Esther wanted nothing more than to cuddle close to him all night. Well, unless she could kiss him passionately again. But “wait until we’re married”? She’d pushed all her fears aside earlier and let herself kiss him long and far too deeply, and now look what had happened. She’d had her moment of fun and now it would mess them both up.
She tugged away from him and murmured, “Bathroom,” then stumbled across the dark room.
Reed flipped the lamp back on and stood. Esther whirled around to face him, and he splayed his hands. “Esther … I don’t want to scare you away.”
Too late. She’d gotten completely out of control kissing him so desperately. Was that all bad? If it hurt him when she flipped out, it would be. Was she flipping out? Not yet.
She forced a smile before he saw how her mind was stewing. “You didn’t. I just need to … use the restroom and then … get some sleep.”
“Sweetheart …”
Esther hurried into the bathroom and shut the door. Luckily, the closet was attached to the bathroom, so she could get dressed after she took a long, long bath. Maybe she could use some of the extra pillows and blankets in the closet and make a bed in there. She turned on the huge tub.
“Esther, please,” Reed said through the door.
She pretended not to hear him, watching the tub fill with water. Drops of water landed on the surface below her face and she realized tears had worn trails down her face and off her chin. She put a finger to her lips and let herself relive those kisses. If only she wasn’t such an emotional mess. Yet with Reed she didn’t feel like a mess—not until she let the real world or her own brain intrude.
“Love,” he called softly to her.
Esther squeezed her eyes shut. How was she going to face him again? How would she keep herself from kissing him and somehow convince him they weren’t meant to be together?
Whycouldn’tthey be together? All the reasons were blurry, and she was too consumed with Reed to think clearly. Which wasn’t smart as Garret could come after them and hurt Reed.
Ah, Reed. Had any man ever been so incredible? It was going to seriously mess her up to break away from him—again—but better now before she got any deeper.
Had she really thought she loved Roman? His kisses and the feelings she’d had for him were nothing compared to this. And though she felt guilt for his death and for being obsessive with him, she recognized it had been a college romance that would’ve burned out if he hadn’t died.
Could she explain to Reed what she’d been through and what she still dealt with far too often? She knew he’d tell her he’d be there for her no matter what. She loved that she knew that, but she wanted to be strong on her own.
Yet what had she spent the last ten years doing? She’d proved she was strong on her own. She was accomplished and successful.
Was it finally time to trust herself and to trust Reed? Would love mess her up, or could it strengthen her even further? Could it make her a better Delta Protection Detail member? A better lawyer? A better person? Someday, a better wife and mother? She would definitely be a happier person if she could be by Reed’s side.
What was fair to Reed? He seemed to be completely gone over her. Could she trust his instincts and feelings as well as her own?
She bowed her head and prayed. Maybe she had no answers of her own, but it was clear that she loved and wanted to be with Reed. She needed heavenly instruction to know the best way to proceed.
ChapterThirteen
Reed wanted to bang his fists against the bathroom door. He heard the water running in the tub and knew Esther was shutting him out.
Walking away from the bathroom, he paced the main room again. Their kisses and connection were off the charts, but still she kept pushing him away. What was it? What had happened to her? How could he help her heal?
And find whoever had wounded her and take the guy apart.
His phone rang, and he ripped it out. Thor. “Hey,” he muttered.
“Wow.” Thor chuckled. “That was some kissing. Shelly and I’s kisses are off the charts too. I wonder if they look like that.”
“I thought you weren’t going to watch.”
“Well, when my dad walked back in and started going insane, I thought I’d better watch so I could testify to the judge if he came over and shot you through the heart.”
