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“No, dear, but I know you would not wish to damage Rosie’s prospects in any way.”
“Rosie will be admired and valued andlovedwherever she goes, regardless of what I do,” Julia said. “And if society would set her aside because of some imagined misdemeanour by her sister, then the loss is society’s, surely.”
Mama winced. “That is not how these things work, Julia! We cannot afford any misstep at this stage, not given our background.”
“You mean Pa coming from trade?” Again Mama winced, but Julia continued relentlessly, “We are who we are. People either accept us as we are or they do not, and if anyone chooses to reject us because of ourbackground, as you so delicately put it, then that is not a person I could respect or would wish to know. I am sorry for my intemperate words last night, and I will say as much and more to Mrs Reynell, but I will not marry James, oranyone, on account of them.”
Pa shifted restlessly. “I think you should reconsider, Jules.”
“You too, Pa? Haven’t you always said you’d never force any of us to marry against our will? Yet now you want to force me into this marriage, and all because of some imagined ill that might accrue to Rosie? Shame on you!”
“I willneverforce you, as you well know,” Pa said tersely. “Nor can I, in law. No one can make you marry where you’re disinclined. But I don’t understand why you don’t want to. You get on so well with James, as anyone can see. He’s very eligible, of course, but that doesn’t weigh with me. It’s character that’s important, and he’s a man I can trust. I wouldn’t be happy to hand you over to just any man with a lineage and a few pennies in his pocket, puss, but James would take good care of you, and youlikehim. So why won’t you do this thing that’s so important to your stepmother… to all of us?”
“I can’t, Pa,” she said fiercely. “I just can’t. This is my whole life we’re talking about, set against a momentary rumour swirling around and the possibility… nothing but a possibility of harm to Rosie’s future. What difference does it make? Even if I were to marry today, would all these foul rumours simply subside of their own accord? Isn’t it better to face up to them, fair and square, look them in the eye and say — judge me if you dare? Isn’t that how you’ve always taught us?”
“Yes, but… everything is different now,” he said, with a helpless lift of one shoulder.
Sir Owen had not yet spoken, but now he said, “Miss Fletcher, you make your case with great spirit, and I can only admire you for it. You are correct that no one can force you to marry, nor can the deleterious effects of these events be determined with any accuracy. Society is fickle, and may reject your family for your perceived transgressions or may choose to ignore them. No one can predict the outcome. All I can tell you is that Mrs Reynell is very friendly with Lady Frederica Kelshaw, and her connections in London will undoubtedly be fully informed of your supposed misdemeanours in lurid detail. Notwithstanding that, no one would wish you to be pressed to marry against your will. It is clear to me that you have reasons for your views, although I cannot guess what they may be, and I have not the right to expect an explanation. I believe that I, and perhaps your parents too, should withdraw at this point and leave the discussion of this matter to those most nearly concerned — that is, to you and my son. Fletcher? Mrs Fletcher? Do you agree?”
Mama was reluctant, Julia could see that, but Pa was more than willing to withdraw and so Julia found herself for the second time left alone in the office with James.
“I shan’t change my mind,” she said crossly, plumping herself down on the nearest chair.
For once, there was no smile on his face. “I hope you will,” he said quietly. “I think you do not fully understand the danger in which your family stands.”
She jumped to her feet again. “If you are going to tell me that Rosie’s prospects might be damaged because I once spent a full hour in the rectory kitchen with you without a chaperon, then you are fair and far off. It’s ridiculous. Rosie will be judged by her own virtues, which are numerous. No one in London cares tuppence about me, or what I may or may not have done.”
He was silent for such a long time that she wondered if he had run out of arguments. But then he sighed, and left his station by the window to stand beside her, taking hold of one of her hands.
“Dear Julia, you are so open and honest that you cannot imagine how… howspitefulthe world can be. But if you will not marry me for Rosie’s sake, then do it for your own…”
“No!” she cried, snatching her hand out of his grip. “No, no, a thousand times no! I’ve told you I don’t want to marry, notever, and nothing has changed my opinion on that. Nothing you can say will change my mind. No matter how well we may get along, that is no foundation for marriage. There has to be something more.”
“Then how about love?” he said, his face riddled with anxiety. “Would that not make a difference? I love you, Julia! Marry me, and make me the happiest man alive, I beg you.”
“Love?Love?”With that one word, all the muddle of emotions that had overwhelmed her in the last few hours, all the rage and fear and remorse and burning sense of injustice rose boiling to the surface. “Youdareto speak to me of love? After all this? How can you do this to me, James Plummer? All this time you led me to believe we were just friends, and now you start ranting aboutlove!Do you imagine I’ll melt into a puddle of compliance, is that it? Suddenly I’ll feel sorry for you or something? You’re despicable! Do you understand how unfair it is to try to… toblackmailme into marrying you?”
“No, I never intended—”
“I hate all this! I’ve a good mind to follow Camilla’s example and just run away from here, and escape from all of it. I’ll go to live with Great-aunt Petronella. At leastshewon’t hound and harry and coerce me to marry against my will.”
“Julia—”
“Stop it! You disgust me! I was perfectly happy until you came along and disrupted my life. Why in God’s name can’t you justleave me alone?”
She ran for the door, raced up the stairs and hurled herself into her room, slamming the door. But the house was too confining. She couldn’t breathe… she needed clean air and space to walk off her anger. Pausing only to change into her comfortable old half-boots and find her thick woollen cloak, she escaped down the secret stair and out of the house, striding away through the gardens before she was even missed.
19: Unrequited Love
James stood transfixed, too astonished to move.‘ I was perfectly happy until you came along and disrupted my life.’Was that how she saw him, as an annoyance who ruffled the placid waters of her life? Or was it merely her anger speaking? Surely she had been too receptive to his overtures to dislike him as much as her words implied? Perhaps he had completely misread her.
There was no point standing about like a wax-work, however. As he slipped out of the room, there was no one in sight. From next door came the sound of servants restoring the library to its usual state after it had served as a card room, but somewhere in the distance he could hear a voice singing… no, humming. Opening the door of the blue saloon a fraction, he saw that the room was still untouched after the ball. The floor bore the scuffed traces of chalk, while around the edges, chairs sat at odd angles, just as their occupants had left them, and every table and shelf bore abandoned wine glasses, plates, even a fan. The dividing doors were still tucked away into their concealing pillars, so he could see clear to the far end of the room.
A woman danced there… no, a girl, he realised. It was Isabella, her shape already womanly though she was but fourteen. She hummed to herself, eyes closed, as she moved through the steps. A cotillion, he thought, with seven imaginary partners. She lacked the almost magical lissomness of Angie, nor had she Rosie’s serene beauty, but she would not disgrace herself in any company. James watched for some minutes, smiling at the contrast with Julia’s awkward attempts. Every now and then, Bella murmured something to herself.
“Left… no, right. Jump a little higher, like this. Daintily, daintily, like a lady.”
It was enchanting to watch, until she murmured, “No, Dorothea, gracefully, like this.”
