AllFreeNovel
Share Us
A flickering flame of hope sprang into life in his breast. If she felt so strongly, then perhaps…?
But if he kissed her… what then? What would it do to him, to lay his lips on hers, to surrender himself to the moment, to lose himself in the sweetness that only she could give him? He had kissed scores of women and thought nothing of it, but to kiss Eloise would change him irrevocably. There would be no drawing back after that. He would be hers for ever. And if that tiny flame of hope were to be snuffed out, then he would be utterly broken. Destroyed.
But how could he explain it to her? Impossible.
“I dare not,” he whispered. “I do not trust myself…”
“I never took you for a coward,” she said softly.
“With you, I am,” he said.
And that was the absolute truth. He was terrified of her, of the power she had over him. He who had always been so sure of himself was reduced to jelly by a woman, and whatever happened now, his life would never be the same, for he had loved her... would always love her. It was the most exhilarating experience on earth, and the most unbearable, all at once.
What would she see as she gazed at him? He hoped she could see the truth — there was no pretence in him, no prevarication. The carefully prepared words had vanished, to be replaced with nothing but pure emotion. He had been scraped free of all artifice, his entire soul laid bare to her, if she could but see it, all his longing poured into those few words. But he could not say more. He was frozen, suspended in time, waiting for her to decide his fate, whatever it may be. If she let him go now, he might, at some indeterminate point in the future, be able to rebuild his life, a life without Eloise in it. But if he kissed her…
“Will!” she cried, and he saw tears hovering in her eyes, ready to spill. “For pity’s sake, Will! There is a time to set aside the bonds of gentlemanly behaviour, and stand up as a man — a man of spirit and heat and emotion. If not here… now… with me… then when? Do not turn away from me as if there was nothing between us! As if we were strangers! Bid me farewell if you must, if I cannot persuade you to stay longer, but kiss me before you go. Let me remember you not just as a gentleman, but as a man of passion, too. Kiss me, Will. Kiss me now.”
The tiny flame flared for an instant, yet he dared not trust it. He longed for her kiss, desired it above all things, but it terrified him too. He was held fast in his own indecision, unable to move either forwards or back. He could not take the single step that would bring her within reach, but nor could he walk away from her.
Her eyes pleaded with him.
His arms lifted despite himself, as if to reach out to her… she moved forward… her face was in his hands, gazing at him, waiting. His own breath rasped in his ears.
With infinite slowness, he leaned towards her…
His lips touched hers, and his fate was sealed. He fell, as if from a great height, into a pool of such joy that surely his heart would explode. He was shaking from head to toe, but filled with such warmth, such delight, such indescribable happiness as he had never known before. It was the most glorious feeling in the world, he discovered, to hold Eloise in his arms where she belonged, to press her tight against his chest, with one hand wrapped behind her back and the other running through her silken-soft hair. How often had he wondered what that would be like? It was all that he could have imagined, and so much more.
She nestled against him as if she, too, knew this was her rightful place. At first, there was just sweetness and tender joy, but gradually there was passion too. It was what she had asked of him, and it corresponded so well with the wishes of his own heart that he could no longer resist, and she made no protest, none at all. She wanted it too! Surely she did…
Eventually, breathless, they parted, but his arms remained tightly about her, and she made no move to pull away from him. If anything, she snuggled closer, and was that a little sigh escaping her lips? Was she as happy as he was? No, surely that was impossible, but she was not unhappy, of that much he was certain.
Another sigh. “Dear Will,” she murmured into his cravat. “We should have done that a long time ago.”
Shewashappy! Joy flooded through him, and he laughed, pulling her even tighter.
“I think,” he murmured into her hair, “that I shall hold you like this for ever.”
She shook slightly with laughter. “We shall look quite odd at dinner, wrapped together like this. It will be difficult to drink our soup.”
“Who needs food? We shall live on love and kisses. If we have those, we shall want for nothing else.”
“Love, Will?” She had gone very still.
He shifted so he could look into her dear face. “Love,” he said firmly. “And I shall offer you the proof of it. You have asked me to stop being a gentleman and display my passion, so I have decided to take you at your word. I intend to kidnap you and carry you off to Gretna Green, forcing you at the point of a pistol to marry me over the anvil. I have a very good set of duelling pistols, as it happens, never used, so it is time I found employment for them. I care nothing for your feelings in the matter, you must understand, for I am determined to have my way. No more gentlemanly restraint for me. Once you are my wife, I shall demonstrate how much I love you by beating you every day until you learn to love me, too. Is that quite clear?”
“Perfectly clear, sir,” she said meekly. “I shall, of course, abandon all ladylike behaviour in like manner, berating you constantly and hitting you over the head with a rolling pin to emphasise my points. I shall be a positive shrew, purely to show my love for you, naturally.”
“Love, Eloise?” he whispered.
“Love,” she said firmly. “Love, you idiotic man. How could you not know?”
“Because you broke off our engagement,” he said, surprised. “Why would you do that, if by some miracle you actually care for me?”
“Oh, Will! I trapped you into it,” she cried. “Itrickedyou, trying to prove that your gentlemanly behaviour was no more than skin deep, and all I did was prove what a good and honourable man you are. You cannot imagine howguiltythat made me feel, that you were fully prepared to marry me anyway.Of courseI had to let you go, and the fact that I fell in love with you and would be totally miserable without you felt like a just punishment for my wickedness.”
“But my darling, why ever did you not tell me? You must have known by then that I was quite reconciled to our marriage… was positively looking forward to it.”
“I just thought you were putting on a very convincing front. How could I tell you how I felt? It would have complicated everything beyond any untangling. Imagine if we had then married — I should always have thought you married solely from obligation, and would have spent the rest of my life weighed down by guilt. I had to jilt you, although there was the tiniest sliver of hope that you would try again. But when I saw your face in the hall, I was sure I had lost you. And that little speech of yours… I thought I should die!”
