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“It’s kind of controlling that you had to pack my bag, you know.”
“I knew what you needed to bring. Besides, you like it when I’m controlling.”
“Only in the bedroom.”
He reaches over and thumbs the hem of my skirt. Reaching under my skirt and touching the outside of my panties, “Are you always wet? Damn, thank you for wearing a skirt.”
“Since I met you, yes.”
He smiled.
“What are you thinking about? You suddenly look sad.”
“What happens when the book is done?” I asked.
“We go back home I guess.”
“Jamie, you live in California. I live in New York.”
“I know, baby.”
“Are we just done then?”
“No, I will never be done with you.”
“I don’t want a long distance relationship, Jamie.”
“Move to California.”
“No.”
“You don’t even want to think about it?”
“No I don’t.”
“We will have to figure something out. I’m not losing you, Stella.”
I look out my window lost in thought. Neither of us wants to move and I will not do the long distance relationship thing. There’s no other option but to walk away from each other. The thought of it makes my chest hurt. A tear rolls down my cheek that I’m grateful he can’t see. He grabs my hand, he may not see the tear but he knows I’m upset.
“Baby, it’ll be okay. We will figure something out.”
“Move to New York, Jamie.”
“No, I hate New York. It’s filthy.”
So that’s it. Our time together will be over and we’ll just move on as if nothing ever happened. As if he didn’t bring me to life. The thought of life without him makes it hard to breathe. I should’ve kept my walls up but now it’s too late. Fort Stella has failed me in the worst way.
He brings my hand to his lips and kisses my knuckles, one at a time, “Baby stop, it’s going to be okay.”
I see a Welcome to California sign.
“California?”
“Yes baby.”
“I’m not moving here.”
“Okay, that’s not what this is about. I just want to show my girl how much I love her.”
