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We’d crawled into bed after stuffing our faces with deep-fried foods. It was the first time we’d been able to truly talk about everything that had happened with his parents. I didn’t want to push him, but I was happy when he brought it up all on his own.
“I want to pretend that it didn’t fuck with my head, but it did. I want to pretend I didn’t pray they’d choose me, but I did. I want to pretend I didn’t drink to get through the show tonight, but I did. I’m a mess, Haze, and seeing them in the shape that they were screwed with my head so much. I just want to stop for a while and not be forced to act happy like I had to at the party tonight. I don’t want to do shows feeling miserable, but I have to do it. If I didn’t, I’m not only fucking myself over, but I’m screwing the guys up too. This isn’t just my dream—it’s theirs, and I can’t pull back because it would affect so many more people than just me.”
“The guys will understand, Ian. If anything, those three get it the most.”
He grimaced. “But then there’s Max.”
“Screw him,” I bellowed, feeling my skin crawl at the mention of him. “Like I said before, he works for you. He makes your life easier, not the other way around.”
Still, Ian didn’t seem convinced, so I dropped that angle. “Well, at least for tonight, you don’t have to act happy or be ‘on.’ You can be whatever you need to be, and I’ll be here for you. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Promise?” he whispered with a crack in his voice. He sounded so heartbroken. “Promise me you won’t abandon me too?”
“I promise.”
He held me close and fell apart against me that night.
I stayed close enough to make sure I was able to pick up his broken pieces. And when we made love, I hoped he felt forever against my lips.
34
HAZEL
The moment I landed back in Nebraska, I drove the few hours to make it to Eres, and I headed straight to Big Paw and Holly’s to pick up Rosie. I knew it had only been two days, but gosh, I missed that little girl. It felt like I had a big hole in me.
“Thank you for watching her,” I told Big Paw as I took Rosie into my arms. Holly stood nearby with that sweet smile on her face.
“Anytime,” Big Paw said, grumbling. “Even if she threw up in my face.”
I laughed. “She has a way of doing that. I was hoping I could talk to you both about Ian ... I’m a little worried.”
Those words made his grandparents’ eyes widen with worry.
“What is it?” Holly asked. “What’s wrong with him?”
“He ran into his parents; that’s why he wanted me to come out there. They used him and asked him for money. I think he’s really struggling right now, trying to figure all those things out.”
“Son of a bitch,” Big Paw grumbled, taking off his hat and slapping it against his leg. “See, Holly! This is what I said would happen! I said the moment that boy found success, those two would come trying to claim some of it.”
Holly frowned and nodded knowingly. “How’s our boy doing?” she asked, her brows low. I saw the worry in her eyes, and I couldn’t blame her.
“He’s struggling,” I explained. “But he’s strong. He’ll be okay.”
“I don’t get why they couldn’t just let him be,” Big Paw huffed. “He was doing good on his own. They didn’t need to come and piss on his parade.”
“Yeah. I feel the same way. If only we could control the choices of others, life would be easier.” I soothed a fussy Rosie in my arms as Big Paw kept frowning.
“Get that girl home, and get her a bottle. And hold her up a bit higher; it makes her stop fussing so much.”
I did as he said, and like magic, Rosie calmed down.
Who would’ve ever thought?
Big Paw—the baby whisperer.
Rosie and I headed home, and when I unlocked the front door, I placed Rosie’s car seat down on the ground to turn on the lights.
“Oh my gosh!” I gasped as the room filled with light. In the middle of the living room was a battered and bruised Garrett, hunched over. “Garrett, what happened to you?” I hurried to his side to help him up but stopped the moment I heard another voice.
