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Those fucking green eyes.
“What are you doing?” I demanded, feeling flustered and completely thrown off. I felt as if half of me was still in the dream state as the other half was awake and wanting to wrap my arms around Hazel and fucking beg her to love me again.
I didn’t do that.
I sat still as a brick wall.
“I heard shouting in here and came to check it out.” She tilted her head, seemingly confused. “What are you doing back in town, Ian?”
My hand brushed against my temple, and I groaned. “Been asking myself the same damn thing. Don’t worry; I’ll get out of your hair.”
I got to my feet, and she shifted in her shoes.
Those black Adidas.
God, I hated that she still wore those black Adidas, and byhatedI meantloved, and holy shit, I’d missed her.
“Wait, no. You’re not in my hair. You’re ... I’m just ... you being here ...” Her words stumbled and fumbled against her tongue. “How are you?” she asked.
After all these months of silence, that was all she had to say to me? All she could muster up wasHow are you?
Not good enough for me.
I turned and walked out of the shed as the morning sun beamed down on me.
I wasn’t in the mood for the walk to Big Paw’s house, but I knew that was the only place I could go.
I brushed my hand against my forehead and turned to Hazel. “Can I use your cell phone?”
She hesitated as if I’d said the most obscure thing in the whole world. “I, uh, you, um—”
“Words, Hazel,” I griped. “Use words.”
“You can’t use my phone.”
“And why not?”
“I was instructed to not let you use it.”
I lifted a brow. “By who?”
“By your friends.”
Fine.
I’d use the phone in the offices.
I started walking off, annoyed as ever, and I heard Hazel call after me. “Wait! Ian. You’re wasting your time if you’re heading to the offices. The phones have been disconnected there.”
What in the hell?
“And why’s that?”
“So you can’t call out to get away from here.”
“Why would I want to stay on this damn ranch, huh? Why in the fuck would I want to be here?” I was coming off sounding like a big dick, but I couldn’t help it, because even though I’d tried to shut off my heart again, it kept fucking beating and breaking every day since my parents and Hazel had stomped it into the ground, and it hurt. It hurt so fucking bad standing there in front of her. It hurt so fucking bad being in the same space as her. It hurt so fucking bad that I wanted to rip my heart out of my damn chest in order to stop feeling.
I wished I’d never started feeling again at all.
