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He collapsed on top of me, sweaty and out of breath. He didn’t say a word for a moment, and then he slid himself out of me and rolled to the left side of the bed.
“Holy ...,” he muttered.
“Shit,” I finished, giggling a bit.
“You don’t understand. That was ... that right there ... that was ... shit ...” He sighed again, rubbing his hand against his face. “I’ve never had it like that, Haze. It’s never felt so fucking good.” He leaned in and kissed my cheek. “That felt like more than sex. That felt deeper. That felt like making ...” His words trailed off, and he caught himself before he said any more. Though I knew what he was thinking.
It felt like making love.
He gave me a lazy smile. “I liked when you screamed my name into your pillow.”
“I liked when you did ...” I paused and scrunched up my nose. “Everything.”
He sat up and removed the soiled condom from his shaft and tossed it into the garbage can. Then he sat there naked on the edge of my bed, still trying to catch his breath. He took my hand to his chest and placed it over his heart. “You see what you do to me, Haze? You make my heart go wild.”
I loved that feeling. I loved how he let me control him, and I loved how he controlled me in the same exact way.
We lay down beside one another, still naked and exposed, both our bodies and our hearts.
“I miss you already,” he said, resting his lips against my forehead.
“I miss you more.” I bit my bottom lip. “When you come back, can we do that again?”
He chuckled to himself. “And again. And again. You are, after all, mine.”
And you are mine, Ian Parker.
All mine.
23
IAN
I’d gotten a total of three hours of sleep the night before due to how things had unfolded between Hazel and me. I wasn’t bothered at all about that. I would’ve surrendered the three hours I had gotten if it weren’t for the fact that she’d fallen asleep first.
My grandparents and Hazel helped me load my suitcases into the bed of Big Paw’s pickup truck. When it was all said and done, I couldn’t help but feel a knot forming in my gut. I didn’t know how I was with goodbyes, mainly because I’d never had to deal with them before. I’d never had a chance to say goodbye to my parents before they’d run off, and ever since then, everyone I knew had a way of sticking around.
That was one thing about being in a small town your whole life—you never had to really say goodbye to the ones who meant the most to you, till death did us part.
But now, I had to do it. I had to say farewell to my family, and as it turned out, I wasn’t ready. It felt like hands were wrapped around my neck, forcing my breaths to become harder.
“Well, I’ll go first,” Grams said. Her eyes were already heavy with tears. She walked over and wrapped me in a hug. “Don’t forget to take your contacts out at night, all right? Otherwise you might go blind.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“And floss. I know you probably don’t even though I’ve told you to your whole life, but if you want to keep that smile of yours, you better floss daily. If not daily, every other day.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“And for the love of the Lord, please separate your whites from your colors when you do laundry. And please, please, please, do your laundry. Don’t let it pile up in the corner until you’re down to your last pair of boxers,” she ordered.
I snickered. “Yes, ma’am.”
“And one last thing.” She placed her hands against my face. “When you need us, you call. Day or night, you call home. Okay?”
“Okay, I promise.”
She leaned in and kissed my cheek before patting her hand gently against it. It was how she “locked the kisses in place.” “Okay, good.”
