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There wasn’t a moment’s hesitation from her. She moved in close to me, and I took her into my arms. We swayed back and forth, pretending there was music as the raindrops began to fall a bit faster. I offered to run inside with her, but she declined.
“A little longer.” She rested her head against my chest as we moved in slow motion in the rain. “I can hear your heartbeats,” she whispered.
“They’re beating for you,” I confessed. At first, I didn’t know if I’d spoken the words out loud, but when I saw how she looked up at me, I knew she’d heard them.
I was terrified of speaking about my true feelings for her because I couldn’t take them back once they were out there. But Damian had been spot-on about everything he’d said to me about my feelings for Aaliyah. The idea of her not being in my life drove me wild. The idea of her not being across the hall from me made my chest ache. The idea of never knowing what her lips tasted like…
Those lips.
Those full, beautiful, juicy lips.
God, all I wanted to do was lean down and taste them. Suck them. Fuck them…
I parted my lips to answer her question, to skip past my fears and let her know my secrets, but before I could, a deluge fell over us and lightning flashed throughout the sky. The pouring rain broke us away from the moment, but then I stood there, thinking about one thing and one thing only—I wanted to kiss her.
I stood there still as the raindrops hammered over us. I didn’t care that I was getting soaked, I didn’t care that every inch of me was wet, all I cared about, all I wanted to know, was if she wanted to kiss me, too.
33
Aaliyah
He was goingto kiss me.
Maybe. Or perhaps, I imagined him leaning down to kiss me in the rain. Maybe I was just hoping, and wishing, dreaming of the possibility of his lips finding mine, his tongue parting my mouth and slipping inside.
My skin began to tremble as we stood in the rain, staring at one another without saying a word. We should’ve moved inside once it began to downpour. We should’ve ran for shelter, but we stood there, still. Dripping water from head to toe. Eyes locked, souls exposed.
Gosh, I wanted him to kiss me. I wanted him to tell me his truths, tell me if what I felt were his feelings, too. I wanted to fall against his mouth and have him swallow every piece of me as I gave him my all.
I wanted to kiss him.
And I wanted him to kiss me, too.
He looked down to the ground for a moment and when he brought his gaze back up to meet mine, he looked as if he were seconds away from falling apart. “You scare me, Aaliyah.”
“What?”
“You terrify me, because every single day, I wake up with you on my mind. Every single night, you stay there, too…I’m falling…” He cleared his throat and I knew how hard it was for him to open up to me. I knew how relationships scared him, and I knew about his hesitations. But still, he kept speaking, still, he kept speaking his truths. “I am overwhelmingly falling for you, Red.”
My heart skipped a beat. Maybe five beats. Maybe it stopped altogether. Maybe his words healed it, all I knew was all the broken pieces of my tattered and tired heart, belonged to him.
I looked at him, completely stunned by the words leaving his mouth. Had I been imagining them? Because everything he was saying was everything I’d wanted to hear. I didn’t know what to say because a part of me worried that by morning I’d realize it was nothing more than a dream. I was scared that maybe by morning, he’d retreat back to his fears of love.
Then as if he knew of my worries, he kept talking. “I’m scared, because I’ve never felt this way. I’m scared because you make me want to take breaks from my work. You make me want to experience things outside of my career. You make me want to live because everything about you is magic.”
“Connor…”
“You don’t have to say anything, really, Red. I know you just got out of that relationship. I know you are still healing, but I just…I want you. I want you more than I’d ever wanted anything else in this world. I don’t care how long it takes for you to be ready because I’ll be waiting…because this…I want this… I want—”
“You,” I softly said, placing my hands into his. I looked down at our intertwined fingers and looked up at him. “I want you, too. I wanted you to say those words more than you know,” I said. “I thought I was the only one feeling this way.”
“No. I’ve felt this for a while now, but I didn’t want to bring it up. I was scared to bring it up. Shit, I’m still scared, Aaliyah…but I’m more scared of not giving us a real shot.”
“Connor?”
“Yes?”
“Kiss me.”
