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“That you pushed Aaliyah away because you’re scared of her dying.”
I started shifting paperwork around on my desk. “I really don’t have time for this, Damian. So, if you don’t have anything work-related to tell me…”
“I don’t.”
“Then you can leave. And you know what? Fuck you for not telling me about her. That was really shitty.”
“What can I say? I’m a shitty person. Go ahead, be pissed at me, I don’t give a fuck. Take as long as you need to throw your anger my way. Whatever makes you happy. But then, at some point you’re going to have to face the fact that you’re throwing away something good because you’re afraid.”
“What do you want me to do, huh? She’s dying, Damian and—”
“We’re all fucking dying!” he snapped, tossing his hands up in irritation. “The day we take our first damn breath, we begin to rot. The only real guarantee in life is that we will all meet our maker someday. Life’s clock is ticking loud for all of us, man. We could walk outside and get hit by a semi and have our lives ended in a split second. That’s it. That’s the only thing this world promises us—death. But with Aaliyah, you have an actual shot at living. A lot of assholes are alive but aren’t living. They aren’t tapping into the deepest levels of happiness, and you could do that with Aaliyah no matter how short that time would be.”
“You don’t understand…”
“Sure, I do. Before you met me, I wasn’t living. I was merely existing, but then you came into my life and gave me drive. You gave me family. So, don’t tell me I don’t understand. Whatever, man. Be pissed for as long as you need to, but don’t miss out on that level of happiness due to your own stubborn fear. Most people don’t get a shot at real love before they die. Don’t be those people.” He stood from his chair. “Knock, knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Stop being a fucking dick and talk to Aaliyah.”
I lowered my head and released a weighted sigh. He was right, but I wasn’t sure how to go about any of it.
“Hey, Damian?”
“Yeah?”
“Can you do some digging on Marie Rollsfield?”
He seemed surprised by my request. When we first met, I made it clear that I didn’t want him digging up anything on anyone I knew before meeting Damian. But something felt off with Marie. I knew something was wrong with the whole Jason situation, I just couldn’t put my finger on it.
Without question, Damian nodded. “On it.”
* * *
I knewI needed to talk to Aaliyah, because Damian was right. There weren’t a lot of times when the guy was ever wrong about anything. I just needed to build up the courage to go home to see Aaliyah, to actually hold a conversation with her. Yet, all of my plans evaporated the moment I showed up late one night and found her in her bedroom, packing some boxes.
“Hey,” I said, walking to her open door. She paused her movements and looked over to me. “What’s going on?”
She blinked a few times, seemingly confused. She was probably thrown off that I was actually at the house after being MIA for days.
“I’m packing.”
“For what?”
“I found a new apartment. I’m moving this weekend.”
My insides twisted at her words. Shit. I knew I was dealing with my own demons, but I didn’t want her to leave. I wanted her to stay. I wanted her to stay so bad, but I’d been a fucking idiot over the past few days. “You don’t have to go.”
She didn’t look at me as she shrugged. “No, it’s fine. My boss gave me an early raise, and I’d been able to save up enough for a decent place. This situation between you and me was always temporary anyway, right? So, I’m moving on to my next chapter.”
I wanted to tell her to stay. I wanted to man the fuck up and stop being a dick and tell her that I was just scared. That I didn’t know how to deal with the fact that she wasn’t going to be around forever. I wanted to tell her that I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing or how to process my emotions.
But instead, I said, “What about the interview?”
I wished I hadn’t said that because I saw the flash of hurt that washed over her face from my words.
“What?”
