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His words soaked deep into my soul. I hardly could believe what he was sharing with me, but then again, I could because that was the type of person Connor was—he helped people. Still, I was scared of letting him back in.
“Have you ever been in love, Damian?”
“No,” he quickly replied. “But I’d be damned if I ran from it when it came to me. People like us don’t get the happy beginnings, but that doesn’t mean we don’t get the happy endings.”
I knew Damian coming to speak to me was a big deal. Damian didn’t often speak to anyone. Every time I crossed paths with him, he only offered up a few almost smiles here and there before he’d go back to minding his own business and living solely in his thoughts.
“Aaliyah,” Damian said, stepping a bit closer to me. “Don’t do this.”
Even though he looked so tough all the time, so hard and cold, his eyes currently were washed over with empathy. With care. Every piece of him in that moment felt like a warmth I hadn’t seen in a very long time.
“Don’t do what?”
“Run away from something good because you’re afraid that someday that person will run away first. Connor’s not a runner. Yeah, he fucked up and hesitated, but fuck, he’s human. He spent his whole childhood thinking his mother was going to die. Then when he found out you were sick he fell into the old thought process that had haunted him for so many years. He’s scared, Aaliyah. The guy is fucking terrified of losing you, but he wasn’t going to run. He just stumbled a little.”
“I know how hard it is for him, Damian. Truly. I get it. That’s why I can’t do this to him.”
He looked at me confused. “What?”
“I’m dying, Damian. I know I don’t have long, and I don’t want to put him through that. I don’t want him to have to watch me suffer, because it will break his heart.”
“You’re sitting here worrying about his heart breaking when yours is literally falling apart. If that’s not love, then I don’t know what is. He should be here.”
“I can’t do that to him…I’m sorry, Damian. I can’t have him watch me die.”
Damian’s brows knitted as he pinched the bridge of his nose. Then he sat down in a chair.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“Sitting.”
“Why?”
“So you aren’t alone.”
“Dam—”
“I get it. You want to protect him from hurting. It’s noble. Stupid as fuck if you ask me, but noble. But that doesn’t mean you deserve to be alone. If you’re dying, you’re dying. It’s shitty and it’s scary and fucked-up because I could name a million people who deserve to die more than you do. The world is a messed-up place, and it shits on good people. I’m sorry it’s doing this to you, Aaliyah, but you’re not going to do this shit alone. All right? I’m going to sit here and,” He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a comic book. “I’m going to read you comics because that’s what Connor would do.”
“Damian. You don’t have to stay here. Really. I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not, and that’s okay. I don’t need you to be fine. I just need you to let me read to you right now, so you’re not alone.”
“Loo—”
“Aaliyah,” he said with a controlled, deep tone. “Just listen.”
I sighed, and I did as he said.
Twenty-five days.
Damian showed up for twenty-five days straight to read to me, making sure I wasn’t alone. Sometimes, I wanted to ask him how Connor had been doing, but I didn’t have the guts to push out the words. I missed him too much to allow myself to ask.
42
Connor
Twenty-five days.
