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He smiled and sipped his drink. “I hope so.” He scratched at the side of his facial hair and wiggled his nose slightly. “Speaking in philosopher quotes kind of makes me sound like a pretentious asshole, though. So, I think this is the proper time to inform you that I am also trained in bad jokes.”
I laughed. “I’ll need proof.”
He leaned in toward me, and those eyes of his made my heart skip a few beats. “Why did the ketchup blush?”
“I don’t know. Why?”
“He saw the salad dressing.”
I laughed out loud, shaking my head in disbelief. “You’re right—that is a bad joke.”
“Why did the mermaid wear seashells?”
“Do tell.”
“She outgrew her b-shells.”
It took a moment for me to connect the dots on that one, but when I did, I burst out laughing. “You really just have these random quotes and bad jokes in your head, don’t you?”
He tapped his temple. “It’s a very scary place inside this noggin. The number of useless facts I have up here is terrifying, but I think I have a lot of good information, too, it’s a balanced place.”
“I can see that already.”
“Did the bad jokes make me less of a pretentious asshole?”
“Yeah, they just made you kind of dorky, but I hear dorks are in this year.”
He wiped his head in relief. “Good, because otherwise I’d be fucked.”
I smiled at him, and he smiled back effortlessly. For a few moments, all we did was grin at one another, but the silence didn’t feel uncomfortable. It felt satisfying, as if being silent with him was normal.
Then, we fell back into conversation, and that felt normal, too.
We talked about a lot of things, but what shocked me the most was that I was laughing so much. Gosh, I couldn’t remember the last time I’d laughed so freely and openly.
“Uh, can you two not sit on these steps?” an employee said, standing in front of us with a tray of dirty dishes.
We instantly stood with our now empty glasses and moved out of the way. The employee muttered something under her breath about how annoying people were, and I couldn’t blame her. The Halloween crowd had to be a handful.
“Well, our drinks are gone,” Captain observed, waving his glass in the air.
“That’s a shame. I was having a good time talking to you.”
“If only there was a way to get another drink,” he said, shaking his head.
I smirked. “If we have another drink, I’m paying for it. No ifs, ands, or buts.”
“If the only way you’ll let me continue talking to you is if you buy the drink, I surrender my wallet and leave it all up to you.”
Good boy.
I could feel the cocktail I’d had making my body feel a bit relaxed in a good way, but I knew my drink of choice would be a water this time around. I had a very solid rule about drinking water after every alcoholic beverage. I never gone out to get wasted. My idea of a good time was to have a nice buzz that hovered over me. It left me still feeling like myself, but a heightened version of me.
We walked over to the bar, and I ordered the drinks. I noticed Captain’s disappointment about not being able to pay, but he didn’t complain or fight me on the subject. A part of me couldn’t understand why he wanted to talk to me so badly. Another part figured maybe it was as easy for him to talk to me as it was for me to talk to him.
Maybe he enjoyed the effortlessness of it all too.
“I just realized…we spent the past thirty minutes talking, and I don’t even know your name, Red.”
