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She laughed. “I think it’s a bit too early for that.”
“Right, of course.” I grimaced. “Just curious.”
“Do you want a boy or a girl?” she asked. My hand was holding hers, and I had no plans of letting go any time soon.
“Either way, I’d be happy.”
The doctor came in to start the ultrasound, and I couldn’t hide my nerves. My hands were sweaty, my legs shaky. As she placed a clear gel on Stella’s stomach and began moving a tool across her abdomen, I piped up. “Is that the heartbeat?” I asked.
“No, just the machine,” the doctor explained.
“Oh.” I frowned while Stella giggled at me.
“But this,” she said, smiling my way, “is the heartbeat.”
Stella began crying, covering her mouth as we stared at the screen. She looked over at me and saw the emotions I was trying not to release in front of a doctor. “That’s ours,” Stella whispered.
I bent toward her and kissed her tears again.
“I’m shocked at how much I can actually see,” Stella commented.
“Well, yes, it’s amazing, isn’t it? You’ll be able to know the sex in only two or three more weeks,” the doctor said.
I raised an eyebrow. “We can tell that so soon?”
“Oh yes, seeing how you are already at the three-and-a-half-month mark, we could be able to, if you want to know.”
Stella sat up straight. “I’m sorry, what?”
The doctor paused the movement of the tool. “I’m sorry, is there an issue?”
“Uh, yeah. You just said I’m three months pregnant.”
“Yes. I’m sorry, I thought you knew.” The doctor looked at us both and saw panic.
No.
We didn’t know.
Stella and I were not sleeping with one another three months ago.
Stella and I were hardly even friends.
Which meant that the child… the baby… our baby…
Her baby…
Wasn’t mine.
It felt as if a semi-truck slammed against my chest and ripped away a dream I hadn’t even had time to settle into. A reality that I craved was no longer mine to hold.
The child was Jeff’s—not mine. My already battered and bruised heart shattered into a million more pieces.
31
Stella
We drove home in silence.Both of us were uncertain what to even say to one another. I felt as if I owed Damian an apology, yet I wasn’t sure how to phrase it.
