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“Because of you! You told me to do this. You told me to agree to this arrangement.”
“I was joking!” he remarked. “Why would I want my girlfriend of ten years to marry another man? Use your brain, Stella. I know that’s hard for you to do.”
He was gaslighting me. I felt it deep in my soul as he began to twist the whole situation of what had unfolded right before my eyes. He was making me the villain in our story when I’d been loyal to a fault to a man who clearly never loved me.
I parted my lips to speak, to defend myself, but I didn’t see a point. Some people were determined to misunderstand you in order to help clear their own guilt of the hurt they inflicted.
“Leave your keys on the counter. I’ll be back on my free day to go through some things,” I explained.
“Wow…” He blew out a cloud of hot air. “Just like that? You’re done with me? After all these years together? You’re really going to allow this man you’ve known for six weeks to walk in and ruin something that was so solid?”
“I don’t know if we were ever truly solid, Jeff.” If we were, we wouldn’t have crumbled so easily. It turns out longevity in a relationship meant nothing if love and trust weren’t a part of the equation. Millions of couples stayed together for a long time simply because too many days passed, and they thought that meant it was too late to go.
Mama and Kevin wouldn’t want that for me. They would’ve never wanted me to stay in a place where love didn’t exist.
“What about my loans?” he asked.
“What?”
“The money I took out and spent. I’m in a hell pile of debt, Stella.”
“I told you not to take that money out. That was never a part of the plan.”
“Okay, but you can’t leave me high and dry! You’re not a bitch like that.”
I narrowed my eyes. “You’re right. I’m not a bitch. But I’m also not responsible for your bad choices.”
“This isn’t you. It’s that asshole, isn’t it? You’re not confident or strong like you’re acting. That ass got in your head and is messing with your thoughts.”
I raised an eyebrow. “You’re saying I’m only standing up for myself because of Damian?”
“Absolutely.”
I stared at him, baffled by his words. Did he truly think so little of me? Did I really allow a man to believe such awful things about who I’d been? How could I have been so stupid thinking that what Jeff felt for me had even an ounce of love within it? If this was love, I’d rather have hate.
Then again, he wasn’t wrong, in a way. Damian did help me find the confidence that I didn’t even know I’d deserved to have.
“Leave the key, Jeff. I’ll be back in a few days.”
I turned to walk away, leaving the house with a pool of nerves in my stomach.
He chased me out to the street, shouting, “You’ll regret this! He’ll never actually give a shit about you. He’s just in it for the check, Stella. Then you’ll be left alone. I was doing you a service by loving you.”
My eyes watered over as I stared at him, stunned by his coldness. Who was this monster I loved for the past ten years? “Goodbye, Jeff,” I whispered with a shaky voice.
He chuckled, baffled by my choice to still walk away. “Give him this word of advice: he should screw you with the lights off. It makes it easier to stomach all of your stomachs.”
I cried the whole way back home. Then I sat in my car and cried for a few more hours. I went to bed and cried for the remainder of the night.
The next morning,I found Damian in the dining room. He stood the second I entered the space. I must’ve looked as awful as I felt because his eyes were filled with sadness. I could almost feel the pity he was shooting my way through those irises.
“Hi there,” I softly spoke.
“Hello,” he replied.
“How was your outing with Denise?”
He grimaced.
