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“Well, you do a weird nose crinkle when you’re in deep thought. You fake laugh too loud during online interviews. No joke is that funny, Aiden. You smell like oak trees with hints of lemon. Pull back on the cologne, buddy. And not to be rude, but to be rude—you’re ugly.”
Was she…? Yeah. She was being playful. Teasing Hailee was back. Oh, how I missed her.
“I was being considered forPeople’shottest man of the year. I think I can see myself as attractive.”
“That’s because most people are programmed by what society tells them is attractive. Sure, you have a head full of luscious hair, biceps that flex without you flexing, a quote-unquote perfect smile, and you stand over six-foot-three. That’s just mediocre surface-level attractiveness that we were told was the be-all and end-all. The truth is, attractiveness runs much deeper.” She tapped the side of her head. “Having a sexy mind is where true attractiveness lies. Looks change over time. I’d like to rest my head on the shoulder of a man with a sexy brain.”
“I have a sexy mind,” I offered.
Her laughter was cold but with a hint of flirtation as she waved me off. “Your brain is as sexy as a lima bean. You’re pretty much a dick for brains, if I’m being honest. Now come on, wannabe Casanova, are you coming or going? I’m not gonna hold this door open for you all night.”
I smiled at her level of sass. I didn’t know a woman calling me a dick for brains was a turn-on until the words left her mouth. Did I have a shame kink that Hailee somehow unlocked for me?Call me a dick for brains again, Hails. I think I felt a twitch in my jeans.
“Good night, Tom.” She turned on her heels and began to walk away.
“Night, Jerry.” I called out to her. “You sure I can’t walk you home?”
“Are you kidding? I can’t be seen with you in this town. People will talk.”
“People are already talking. Besides, a long time ago, a girl gave me a nice saying about people who don’t matter.”
“Oh? And what was that saying?”
“Fuck them.”
Her cheekbones rose, and all I wanted to do was kiss those chipmunk cheeks that I always loved. “Yeah… fuck them.” She grew bashful for a few seconds before clearing her throat. “Still, we can’t make it painfully public that we are becoming friends again. You know this town can be—gossipy. Therefore, the dinner must be at a place where no one will know we are hanging out. I’m not trying to be on the cover of some tabloid with a dick for brains.”
Twitch, twitch, dick, dick.
Shame kink was fully unlocked, and for a second, I almost considered replying with, “Yes, Master,” but I went with, “Okay, that works,” instead.
“Night,” she hollered back, waving me off without looking over her shoulder. For a moment in time, everything was right in the world.
“Good night, Hails.”
33
Aiden
Aiden:Meet me at 333 N Heights Rd. It’s right on the outskirts of town. How about 7pm? I could pick you up so you don’t have to come alone.
Hailee:What do you not get about I can’t be seen with you in public?
Aiden:I can wear a Halloween mask.
Hailee:Only if you show up as the clown fromIT. Otherwise, I’ll drive myself to the meeting location. I’ll see you in a little bit.
Color her shocked when I showed up at her apartment at 4:40pm wearing anITclown mask.
When Hailee opened her door, she burst out laughing. “Are you kidding me? Why are you like this?”
“I just wanted to be able to pick you up for our non-more-date.”
“I was joking about the mask.”
“Well, subtext and sarcasm are very hard to read via text messages. So…” I bowed and held my hand out toward her. “Shall we?”
She smacked my hand away and chuckled. “Let’s get a move on before people think I’m screwing a random clown.”
