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“Tell me. Tell me what I missed.”
She laughed a little. “Five years’ worth of stuff? That’s a lot of information.”
“I want to know it all. Tell me your story.”
She went to college to become a therapist. She was taking a year off before going for her master’s degree. A part of me was sad I didn’t get to experience the college lifestyle with her. It was another missed opportunity due to my career, but I was glad she seemed to do well in school.
“What’s your main focus?” I asked.
“I want to be a child psychologist. High school, as you know, was tough for me toward the end. I never want kids to feel as if they don’t belong. I want to help them understand their emotions and help aid them through the dark days. When my parents put me into therapy, it changed my life. Now, I want to pay it forward so kids know they can still have some of the best days of their lives. It’s odd to think that, in a way, what happened to me all those years ago put me on my right path.”
“Life has a way of putting you right where you’re supposed to be.”
“Yeah, I think so. Outside of school, though, I’m still the boring girl who reads too much, lift weights for fun, and works at the inn. My life is pretty simple.”
“I would kill for a simpler life. And you’re happy?”
Her full lips smiled. “I am. I have waves of ups and downs, like everyone, but I am over all happy.”
“Good. You deserve it.”
“Thank you. Still, even though I’m happy, sometimes I get lonely,” she confessed. “A lot of times, I’m fine. I go day by day without feeling that way. But then some nights or early mornings, I feel lonelier than ever. I don’t have many friends. That’s not a complaint. It’s just a fact. No one talks loneliness or how lonely people are forced to lie to themselves sometimes and say they are fine being alone. I think we are met to be around others. Maybe not all the time, but sometimes. And when I’m not, it gets hard. I just do the same things over and over. Wake up alone, go to work alone, come home alone, go to bed alone. I sometimes wish I had someone to do nothing with.”
“Why don’t you date?”
“Because no one else could ever be you.”
I wanted to hug her, but I didn’t know where we were on that front. I wanted to soak up her loneliness and place it inside me. A transfer of hard emotions of sorts.
“I know what that’s like…being lonely. Sometimes, I think my life is defined by my loneliness. I’m surrounded by people all the time, but I swear I’ve never felt so alone being out in Los Angeles. So let me join you,” I told her.
She raised an eyebrow, confused by my comment. Honestly, I wasn’t certain I understood it completely, either.
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“I mean, let me join you.” I leaned in toward her and placed my hands on her kneecaps. “We can be lonely together.”
Her eyes fell to my hands on her legs. Was the touch too much? Did she like it? Did she want it? Did I cross a line? I stared at my hand’s placement but didn’t move them. The heat radiating from her smooth brown skin was sending shock waves of light into me.
A few tears fell against my hands. That made me look up once more to those eyes of hers. Tears streamed down Hailee’s cheeks, and she was quick to try to wipe them away. She shifted her legs, making me remove my hands.
“Hails, if this is too much, we can—”
“No.” She cut in, shaking her head. “It’s just… There’s no one in this world I’d rather be lonely with.”
We talked for a while longer before lying down to count the stars.
One… two… three…
“Forty-five.” Hailee pointed.
“You already counted that one,” I exclaimed.
She tilted her head toward me and scrunched up her nose. “I definitely didn’t count that one.”
“But you did.”
“Didn’t.”
