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The last thing I wanted was for Aiden to feel bad about what was being said. I knew how deeply it pained him the last time I was viciously attacked online. I didn’t want to put him in that headspace again.
I gave myself the space to cry, to feel.
If I’d learn anything from my school studies and my time in therapy, it was that all feelings were valid, and it was best to work your way through them instead of pretending as if they didn’t exist. I’d also learned that crying wasn’t a sign of weakness, but it was a sign of expression.
Then I took a deep breath, turned on the shower, and undressed. I needed to shock my body and remind myself of my real reality. That I, in my current state, was okay and safe. At that moment, as the water ran over my body, I took deep breaths and I hugged myself. I rubbed my arms up and down to comfort myself. I soothed my mind, my soul, and my body.
“I’m okay. I’m okay. I’m okay…” The water ran over my body as I steadied my breathing. I kept repeating the words until my body began to believe them. I took in heavy inhalations and released them as I brought myself down from the panic taking over me. Then I got dressed and headed into work.
The moment I walked into the inn, Kate was standing at the front desk. She looked over at me with teary eyes.
I sighed and gave her a lopsided grin. “It’s okay. Don’t cry, Kate.”
“Okay,” she blubbered, tears already rolling down her cheeks.
That only made it worse for me, because when someone I loved cried, then I’d cry, too. I didn’t make the rules of emotions. I just followed them.
She rushed over to me and pulled me into a hug. Comfort was also another thing that made me cry easily. “I’m so sorry, Hailee. These people are assholes.”
“It’s okay. I’m okay.”
I kept repeating that silently, too.
I’m okay.
I’m okay.
I’m okay…
37
Aiden
I wokeup to the sound of pounding on Hailee’s door.
I yawned and stretched before pulling myself up from her bed. I tossed on a T-shirt as the pounding continued.
“Cinderella, open up. It’s Dad,” Karl said.
With that, I tossed on my pants. The last thing I needed was to have Karl catch me naked in his daughter’s apartment again. I headed to the front door, opened it, and smiled at Hailee’s dad. “Hey, Karl. Hailee is at work already and—”
“What are you doing here?!” he barked, barging into the apartment.
Well. That was a greeting I didn’t expect.
“Oh. Well, uh, Hailee and I are back together and—”
“I asked you not to hurt her again,” he spat out.
I narrowed my eyes. “Yeah, I know. I haven’t.”
He huffed. “Bullshit. I’ve read one too many articles this morning with the media attacking my daughter again like they did five years ago.”
My chest tightened. “Wait, what?”
“Article after article attacking her looks and her character. I swear to God, Aiden, you need to fix this. I watched what this shit did to my little girl five years ago, and I refuse to have her go through this again. I refuse to sit and listen to her cry herself to sleep each night or wake up in night terrors. You weren’t there. You didn’t see her at her worst when you went to California. I was the one who had to soothe her. I was the one who had to help piece her broken heart back together. She doesn’t deserve to go through that again. If you are unable to protect her from this kind of cruelty, then you need to leave her the hell alone. She’s my baby, Aiden, my world, and she doesn’t deserve this.”
“Karl, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
