Page 24 of Northern Stars


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Which brought me to secret number two: I. Missed. Hailee.

Throughout our friendship, waves of unexplainable feelings hit me whenever I was around her. There were times when she’d hug me, and I’d have the urge not to let her go. Sometimes she’d laugh, and I’d dream about the sound. There were times when she was doing the most mundane thing, and I’d look at her, and all I’d want to do was cover her face in a thousand kisses. I always thought those were fleeting feelings. They came fast but would always dissipate when I thought about how if I did have a crush on my best friend, it could ruin our friendship forever.

Then I went to California for a year. It was almost as if I truly realized how special Hailee was when I was forced to be away from her. People surrounded me nonstop in Los Angeles, but I wasn’t surrounded bymypeople. My person.

I was determined to tell Hailee about my feelings and then proceed to make my senior year the best year ever with her. I just hadn’t built up the courage yet. Which meant I only had one secret worth focusing on at that time—my growing hatred of acting.

My parents had put a lot of time and money into my acting career. When I was young and said I wanted to be an actor, they supported it to the fullest. Dad made sure I gave it my all, and I did, but now I didn’t have the same passion I once held for it. Being around Hollywood somehow made me jaded. I felt as if I was losing parts of my roots, and even though I didn’t know what I wanted to do, I knew I didn’t want to continue down that road.

Having that conversation with my parents wasn’t going to be easy, but I figured dinner that night would be a good time to just blurt it out. Rip the Band-Aid off.

When I approached the dining room, Dad was already standing, putting food on each plate. He looked up at me and raised an eyebrow. “You and that phone are attached at your hip so much lately. No phones at the dinner table unless it’s for business.”

Dad and his dinnertime rules.

Mom walked into the room and kissed my forehead. “Hey, baby.”

We started eating, and it felt both great and nerve-wracking to have one of Mom’s home-cooked meals. My mother was a fantastic chef, one of the best in the Midwest, if not the world. Her restaurant in Chicago was thriving. It was the reason she couldn’t spend as much time in Los Angeles with me as Dad did. So coming home to her home-cooked meals felt like being spoiled.

My agent said I should’ve avoided certain foods to keep my physique, but I couldn’t pass up Mom’s cooking. All I knew was if I could have a few days not eating chicken and rice, I would celebrate it. Before the past few years, I’d never worried about my weight, but over the last year, when I had to get cut for a role, it was all I seemed to ever think about. I didn’t talk about it to anyone, though, because I would’ve sounded like a little bitch complaining about getting a six-pack and getting paid to act in movies and shows.What a hard life, Aiden.

Therefore, I kept my struggles to myself.

I hated that one of the first things that I did when I got home was weigh in, too. Then the following morning, I weighed myself again. It was as if the number on the scale and the image in the mirror were one of the most important things to me.

Before I left Leeks, I didn’t even own a scale. Now, I could look down and guesstimate how many macros were sitting on my plate. Another reason I wanted out of that industry. Insecurities ran rampant.

“How was your first day?” Mom asked, shaking me from my thoughts.

“Good. I was able to switch lunch so I could have mine with Hailee. The teachers are all nice, too.”

“Are people excited to see you?” she questioned.

“A little too much. It’s weird how people are paying attention to me. I got invited to parties by people who’ve never talked to me before.”

“You should ignore their advancements. It’s easy to celebrate when people think you are successful. You must be careful and smart with individuals,” Dad warned.

“Yeah, it’s just weird is all.”

Dad placed his fork down and clasped his hands together. “I want to make sure we are on the same page about this school year, Aiden. You know I was against the return because being a public figure makes it harder for you to be a normal teenager. Like you said, people are already treating you differently. So let’s just keep things clean and cut. In and out, do your homework, get your good grades, and report home. Do you understand?”

I nodded. “Yes, sir.”

“And have fun,” Mom said, leaning over to squeeze my forearm. “You’re allowed to have fun, too. It’s your senior year!”

Dad grumbled a little but didn’t disagree with Mom. She seemed to be the only person alive who didn’t get his sharp tongue.

“Actually, I was hoping to talk to you about something,” I said. My hands were sweaty, and my nerves were skyrocketing through the roof, but I figured I might as well put it out on the table. Just a few simple words: I don’t want to be an actor anymore. Easy. Effortless.

“One second, Aiden. Don’t you have something else to tell him, Sam?” Mom asked. “What were you telling me earlier?”

Dad shook his head. “We can save that for another time.”

“Samuel,” Mom sternly stated. “Now’s a perfect time.”

He released a weighted sigh and sat up straighter as he looked at me. His brows were knitted. A knot formed in my chest as he gave me his hard stare. The same stare he’d always given me when he was disappointed in something I did. When he parted his mouth, he said something that almost knocked me backward. “I’m proud of you. Of the work you’ve done in the past year and the opportunities you’re creating for yourself in the entertainment industry. I’ve seen how much work you’ve put into it, and it doesn’t go unnoticed. You’ve also changed my life by giving me the opportunity to be your manager. I couldn’t live out my acting dream because your mother and I took you in, but watching you shine means the world to me. It feels as if my dreams have come true. I’m happy because of you, and I am proud of you.”

I stood there frozen in place, completely stunned by his words. “Uh, what?”

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