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“The same thing that happened to you. I was sick and immobile until I could purge the food from my stomach.”
She adjusted the blanket over her chest. “There has to be another way.”
“There isn’t. Trust me, I tried everything in those first few years. I’m surprised Maddock put up with my behavior. The clan was more lenient than it should have been.”
“You were a child.”
“Yes, but I continued to fight my shadow for years, despite knowing the night I drank Ruffles’ blood, that I would never be human again.”
Her eyes softened. “What happens when I don’t feed?”
“The hunger sends you into a kind of madness. You won’t even know what you’re doing when you make that first kill. It won’t matter if your prey is human or animal. You will be no different from the reaper that killed your foster parents.”
Her breath stuttered. “I’ll become a reaper?”
“If you kill humans, yes.”
The memory of Killian’s lips on her cheek made her shiver. “If shadow shifters and reapers both drink blood, both kill, what’s the difference?”
CHAPTER33
Raine hated the tremble in Dannika’s voice. She was attempting to be brave and her curiosity was genuine, but her disgust of shadow eating habits was clear.
“You understand that reapers are shadow shifters who feed on humans.”
Dannika nodded. “Yes, but why? What’s the difference between feeding on a human or an animal? A kill is a kill, isn’t it?”
“No. Animals kill other animals for food. If a wolf hunts and kills a rabbit, it’s not considered murder.”
Dannika grabbed her clothes and put them on. Her movements weren’t rushed, as if she were lost in thought.
“Okay. I get that killing an animal isn’t murder under those circumstances.” She fastened her pants. “Do shadows hunt in human or animal form?”
Rain forced himself not to smile. Dannika didn’t realize how insightful her question was. “We feed in animal form. A wolf hunting and feeding on another animal does not break the laws of nature. A reaper killing and feeding on a human being strengthens the demon soul and consumes the soul of his animal.”
She rubbed her neck. Her wariness and hunger beat at him, but she needed to understand the differences between a shadow shifter and a reaper. Not just the feeding habits, but the consequences. “When you say it consumes their animal, do you mean they can no longer shift?”
“Yes. Reapers have no animal to create a balance. They feed, they kill, and they thirst for more power.”
Dannika rubbed her arms. “What kind of power are they looking for?”
Raine took a deep breath. “You know our emotions dim in time. Animal blood sustains us, but it does not give us an emotional boost. When a reaper drinks human blood, he experiences their emotions. For a reaper, the thrill of the kill, their prey’s fear, is a high unlike any other.”
Dannika’s wise eyes met his. “They’re blood addicts.”
“Yes. Similar to human addiction, a reaper needs the adrenaline fix that only human blood can provide. Blood that is laced with fear and pain at the moment before death.”
Dannika’s body heaved before she put her hand over her mouth. “Jesus. Is there any way to become human again?”
Raine shook his head. “When the shifter species realized the price for housing a demon soul, for gaining the gifts of longevity and power, was the loss of their females, they tried everything to reverse the process. Human, animal, or demon, a soul is indestructible. A life force can be recycled and reused, but not destroyed.”
“But demons are evil.”
Raine sighed. “It’s not that simple. Humans are capable of evil acts. Demons are capable of good ones. In death, we are given a clean slate.”
“The demon souls require blood, a kill. How can anything like that be redeemed?” she asked.
“Every animal kills, including humans. If your animal kills for a food source, it’s part of the food chain. If you kill for enjoyment and cause your prey unnecessary pain, then you are a murderer, regardless of your species.”
