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“I’ll miss you, Scar,” I say as I extricate myself from his embrace.
I look at the rest of them in turn. “I’ll miss all of you. And I’ll visit every chance I get.”
“Yeah, I’ll believe that when I see it,” Tank says and the rest chuckle.
“But seriously, Princess,” he adds. “This is what you wanted to do for the longest time. So go make the most of it.”
The rest agree with that too, and I’m so grateful they’re not making this hard.
Whatever else might’ve been said is interrupted by a black, new looking pickup comes speeding towards us, kicking up dust that sparkles in its headlights.
Rook, the MC’s Sargent at Arms, steps out, still as tall and imposing as ever. If it weren’t for the softness in his eyes, he’d be one scary man. But he’s always been the most level-headed and dependable one of them all. Slow to rise, but like a pillar, a safe haven. He could talk me down from the worst of my rages, I remember that vividly.
Cross tosses my duffle bag in the back of the truck and pulls me into a hug before I even know what’s happening.
“Watch your back, Lily,” he says gruffly. “And call if you need anything. Anytime. For anything. You understand?”
I nod while he’s still holding me, unable to find my words, because showing such raw emotion is not something my dad does. He releases me, and it takes a few seconds for his eyes to return to the hard, piercing intensity I’m used to seeing there. Ditto mine, I’m sure.
“I’ll be fine,” I tell him. “You raised me well.”
I glance the rest of them in turn. “All of you did. I know how to take care of myself.”
Once again, I get the urge to tell them about the chief, but that’s not gonna achieve anything good. Every one of these men would lay down their lives for me, and I’d never ask them to do it over something as trivial as an old drunk man coming on to me. If I were in the habit of doing that, there’d be a bunch of dead old men lying around by now.
I also almost ask Cross to promise me he’s not sending anyone to watch over me, but I don’t want him to have to lie. Once he knows I’ll be in no danger on the reservation, he’ll let me live my own life there freely, but not before he’s sure. I know him well enough to know that.
There’s nothing more to say now. These are hard men, big on actions, not words and they’re certainly not big on niceties.
So I climb into the pickup through the door Rook is still holding open for me.
“Just so you know, I was rooting for you taking a cooler, faster car,” Rook says as he hands me the keys. “But your dad wanted you to have something dependable.”
“Something you can sleep in, if you have to,” Tank adds. “I agree.”
“I’m gonna miss all of you so much,” I say, making both Ice and Rook clear their throats uncomfortably.
“Don’t go soft on us now,” Tank says. “Go, make your dreams happen.”
I just smile at them all and shut the door. As soon as I start the engine and drive off, I know I’ve made the right choice. I didn’t expect it’d be this hard to leave them all behind—or maybe I did, but just didn’t think about it enough—but I am doing the right thing.
Now if I just don’t think of Eagle at all, everything will be absolutely fine. He chose his life, and I chose mine. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Nothing at all.
* * *
CROSS
Lily’s car is just a set of red tail lights in a cloud of dust going down the driveway, and I’m thinking about how it’s high time we got this driveway paved. All the dust has never been good for the bikes, but the old MC president loved the Wild West of the unpaved road, so it stayed. Plus, the guys love nothing better than to work on their bikes, the more the better. Myself included.
“And just like that, she’s gone again,” Tank says in a whimsical sort of tone. “It’s as though it was just yesterday that she came to us.”
And he’s not wrong. I didn’t know I had a daughter until she was almost twelve years old and her mother brought her to live with me. And ever since then, I’ve been dreading this day. That’s why I’m thinking about the driveway instead of the fact that I might not see her again for a good long while, I suppose.
“Tell me about it,” I say. “But I blame you for filling her head with all that philanthropic bullshit all these years.”
Tank for all his many vices, always believed that all the bad we do has to be set off by doing some good too, and Lily took to that notion like a fish to water.
He shrugs. “She’s her own woman, no two ways about that.”
