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“Don’t be stupid, Gareth. Figure it out.”
Gareth frowned at his brother. It was true that he hadn’t particularly enjoyed working the past few days, but a lot of that was because of the constant war going on inside of him. Now that his hurt wasn’t so fresh, his anger had faded some, but not completely. It festered inside him still, and he knew it wasn’t healthy.
He’d never been so angry. But then again, he’d never been so deeply hurt.
“So she’s leaving the clinic.”
“She’s leavingSerenity,” Jay stressed. “She said staying here would make it too difficult to move on from your relationship.”
Gareth’s stomach clenched at the thought. Rather than responding to that, however, he just said, “Thanks for letting me know.”
Jay gave a huff of frustration as he got to his feet. “I don’t know about you, man. Give your head a shake and get over your pride before you lose something that could be great.”
As parting shots from a basketball pro like Jay went, it was pretty much a three-point dunk from the other end of the court. And it was in Jay’s words that Gareth gained the clarity he’d been lacking.
Pride.
He’d thought it was all about hurt and anger, but the firm foundation under both those emotions was pride.
Though he’d assumed the hurt had come because she hadn’t trusted him, the fact was that it was his pride that had been hurt. Instead of thinking more about why she’d done what she had, all he’d focused on was why she hadn’t trusted him. Why she hadn’t seen him as trustworthy.
He’d made the situation about himself, not her.
Gareth frowned. But hehadn’tjust been thinking about himself. He’d been thinking about the clinic, and how Aria had put it at risk by not revealing what had happened at her previous job. That wasn’t about him. That was about protecting the clinic. Protecting the hard work that had built it.
However, Gareth had to admit that Jay and their parents were as protective of the clinic as he was, and yet they’d been willing to let Aria continue working at the clinic. They’d been willing to accept her apology and move forward.
His anger had been a more comfortable emotion for him since it was focused outward. He’d clung to it to mask the hurt of Aria not trusting him. Of her not feeling as strongly for him as he felt for her. He could see now, however, that the anger was also hugely damaging.
While the hurt from Aria not trusting him causedhimpain—which was why he didn’t want to dwell on it—the pride and anger were causing pain to those around him. Especially Aria.
EspeciallyAria.
Gareth’s shoulders slumped, and his head dropped forward. He could have protected the clinic and still had empathy for Aria and what she’d gone through. Instead, he’d chosen anger and pride. Only caring about his own emotions. About how he felt.
Though his plan had been to avoid the men’s group again that night, Gareth knew he needed to go. For advice, but more importantly, for prayer.
Pulling his thoughts together, Gareth tried to focus on what he needed to do before he could leave the office for the day.
When he pulled up at the apartment block where the men’s group was being held that evening, Gareth sat in his vehicle for a couple of minutes. His earlier conversation with Jay and the situation with Aria continued to weigh heavily upon him.
He’d made a huge mess of everything, and he had no idea how to fix it. Or if it was even possible to fix it. Aria might not want anything more to do with him after how he’d treated her, and he could hardly blame her. No, he had no one to blame but himself for the hurt he felt more acutely now that he’d let go of the anger.
A rap on his window made him jump, and Gareth looked over to see Wade peering at him. With a sigh, he grabbed his keys from the ignition and pushed the door open.
His friend stepped back, giving him space to join him outside the car. “Good to see you, man.”
If it had been Jackson who’d said that, Gareth would have assumed he was being sarcastic since he’d been avoiding them lately. However, he took Wade’s words at face value and gave him a nod.
Together, they walked into the building. As they waited for the elevator, Wade talked about the project he’d been working on, thankfully not asking how Gareth was doing. He wasn’t sure he’d have an answer that didn’t reveal his true state of mind.
Jackson was already there when they walked into the apartment, and he immediately headed their way.
“Good to see you finally showing up, bro.” Gareth grimaced as Jackson thumped him hard on his back.
“Lay off, Jack,” Wade said.
Jackson lifted his hands. “Hey. Just glad to see him.”
