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Gareth guided Aria over to the counter where the pizza boxes sat. He picked up a couple of paper plates and handed one to her. “I’ve reached out to more of my medical associates, so I hope something comes of those feelers soon.”
Aria grabbed a couple of small slices of her favorite pizza and put them on her plate, then went to the table with Gareth. She glanced at Gareth, then took his hand as the conversation around the table quieted while he said a prayer for their meal.
With the situation between her and Gareth having settled, Aria found her appetite was better than it had been in recent weeks. She was full after the pizza, but she didn’t hesitate to say yes when Gareth asked if she wanted to go for cheesecake and ice cream. Though she enjoyed being with all the Halversons, after everything that had happened, she wanted to spend some time alone with Gareth. And apparently, he felt the same way.
“I want to understand,” Gareth said once they had chosen their desserts and were settled at a table tucked into the corner of the shop.
“Understand what exactly?” Aria asked. She would happily share anything with him now, but she needed to know what exactly he was talking about.
He hesitated. “I want to understand what life was like for you and your mom, and also for you after your mom was gone. But I don’t want to pressure you to talk about any of it. Just know that if you ever want to share about those times—the good and the bad—I’m happy to listen.”
Aria appreciated that more than Gareth would ever know. There were days when it felt like her mom was going to just slip into oblivion now that Aria was the only one with memories of her. Talking to people about her might bring tears, but then her memory would be alive in more than just Aria’s mind.
“I think I’ve mentioned that my mom was young when she had me. She was, essentially, a baby raising a baby. I’m not sure how she did it, to be honest. But somehow, she raised me on her own with no support system. She still managed to be a great mom, and she was my best friend.”
Gareth smiled, and for a moment, Aria could only relish the fact that he was sitting there with her again.
“I’m glad to hear that,” he said. “And it sounds like she was a strong woman, just like you.”
“I don’t really see myself that way, but Mom was definitely strong.” Aria smiled at him. “She would have loved you.”
“I wish I’d had the opportunity to meet her and tell her what a wonderful daughter she raised.”
Aria hoped her mom would have felt that way, especially considering the mistakes she’d made. Though she probably would have lectured Aria on what she’d done, she would have understood. Being completely alone was a hard thing for a person to truly understand unless they’d experienced it themselves.
“When we’d talk about what would happen to me after she passed away, Mom would remind me that even though she wouldn’t be with me anymore, God always would be. I kind of forgot that when she died.”
Gareth reached out and laid his hand on hers, squeezing gently. “I’m sure grief has a way of clouding your mind, especially at first.”
Aria nodded. “I was mad at God too, though, so that didn’t help. We prayed so hard for Him to heal her, but it didn’t happen. I couldn’t understand why He’d take the only person I had.”
“There are some things that we’ll just never understand on this earth. I know that Janessa and Jay struggled to understand that when their mom passed away. And it didn’t seem to matter much that they had us. The loss of their mom eclipsed everything else.”
Aria nodded. “For months, it was the first thing I thought about when I woke up and the last thing I thought about before falling asleep, and grief filled every second in between.”
“How is it now?” Gareth’s brown eyes held a wealth of concern and love, and Aria knew that if she didn’t already love him, she would have in that moment.
“I can talk about her now without crying,” she said. “Memories of her can make me smile, even though I still miss her tremendously.”
“I know that none of us can replace your mom, but I hope you know that you’re not alone anymore. With so many of us around, you can always find someone to spend time with, though I hope you’ll come to me first.”
Aria chuckled. “Pretty sure that’s a given.”
The conversation took a turn then, moving from the heaviness of her grief to some of the happier times she’d had with her mom. It was the first time she’d been able to share so much about her, and it was like she just couldn’t stop talking.
Gareth didn’t seem to mind, though. He smiled and laughed and made comments. She’d never expected that anyone would care that much about someone they’d never met.
When she asked him about it, Gareth said, “She was important to you.” He lifted her hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it. “And you’re important to me.”
He was important to her too, but she didn’t know how to phrase justhowimportant. So she had to just settle for repeating his words back to him.
As Gareth drove her back to the house after the restaurant asked them to leave so they could close, Aria felt truly at peace. The burden of her secrets had weighed her down in a way she hadn’t realized. Sharing the truth really had set her free.
She’d been so afraid that the truth would cost her everything. And while it might have felt like that at first, she could see now that it was not sharing the truth from the start that could have cost her everything. Ignoring the past hadn’t made it disappear the way she’d hoped.
Like her, Gareth had made mistakes in how he’d dealt with the truth when it came out. Her hope and prayer was that they’d be able to leave everything in the past, while still remembering what they’d learned from it.
Standing at the door a short time later, Gareth pulled her into his arms, and Aria savored his nearness. After what they’d been through, it was something she’d never take for granted.
