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Aria slumped back in her chair once she was alone in the building. While it was great that she and Nora had gotten through the morning without any issues, she wasn’t calm inside. There were still things she needed to do before she could leave the clinic, but she just needed a moment to catch her breath.
Even though everything had gone okay, her panic over administering the shots still hadn’t dissipated. Her confidence was still shaky, and she wasn’t sure when or if that would change.
Logically, her reluctance to carry out nursing duties made no sense. She’d definitely made a bad decision that had resulted in her losing her job, but her skills hadn’t been called into question, and she hadn’t injured a patient. Sheshouldhave been able to do something like give a baby a shot without any nerves.
However, what sheshouldbe able to do versus what shecoulddo were two completely different things when factoring in her confidence and anxiety. Would she ever get to a point where the events of that time didn’t cause her panic? Panic that wasn’t actually rooted in reality?
Finally, she got up from her chair and went to clean the exam rooms and restock where necessary. It was close to one by the time she let herself out the back door of the clinic once she’d locked everything up. Aria was desperate to put the morning behind her and get on with the rest of the day.
Aside from that one little blip, being able to meet the people who came for the free clinic had been lovely. She’d spoken to most of them when they called to make an appointment, so putting faces to names had been good. However, she was worried that they’d ask her to do more Saturday shifts, now that she’d done this one.
How was she going to say no without giving an explanation?
Back at the house, she checked on Janessa, who was sound asleep in her bed, then went to her room. Charli and Layla weren’t around, so the house was quiet.
Knowing that Gareth was due to show up in a couple of hours, Aria took the time to try to calm herself, then freshened up. She wanted to just enjoy her time with Gareth, but she had a hard time getting rid of the pit in the bottom of her stomach.
This was supposed to have been a new chapter. The old one was closed. It should have stayed that way. It might still stay closed if she just made sure she didn’t get herself into a position like she’d found herself in that morning.
Shame swept through her as her thoughts went back to her previous job and everything that had happened. With her mom gone, Aria had been all alone in the world and that knowledge had definitely done a number on her. She’d made some bad decisions while mired in her grief and heartache.
Aria slumped down on her bed again, regret weighing her down. However, she couldn’t change the past. She couldn’t change how she’d reacted and the decisions she’d made.
The distance she’d put between herself and that mess over the past several weeks had seemed so vast that all of it had barely been in her mind anymore. But now, everything was front and center of her thoughts and emotions once again.
Part of her wanted to text Gareth and tell him she wasn’t feeling well and wasn’t able to go with him. But there was another part of her that hoped being with him might help to shove the past back to where it belonged.
When her text alert sounded, she stared at her phone for a moment before picking it up. She almost wished that it was Janessa texting her for something.
Gareth:On my way! See you soon.
The heart emoji he tacked on to the end of the message soothed some of her anxiety. She just needed to spend time with Gareth, watching him do something that he enjoyed.
She sent him back a heart, then got up and went to check on Janessa one more time.
Her friend was awake this time, laying curled up with a miserable look on her face.
“Hey,” Aria said softly as she approached the bed. “How are you feeling?”
“So achy and just… blah.” She sighed and turned onto her back, staring up at the ceiling.
“I was going to go with Gareth to his practice, but I can stay if you want.”
Janessa turned her head to the side and looked at her. “No. I’ll be fine.”
“Can I get you anything before I go? Water? Meds?”
“Both please.”
“Sure. I’ll be right back.”
Aria hurried downstairs to get another bottle of water, then returned to Janessa’s room. She handed her the water before going into her attached bathroom to get the meds Janessa had been taking.
Janessa had pushed herself up to sit propped against her pillows and held the water bottle in her hands. “Thanks so much, sweetie. I don’t think I’ve ever been this sick before. I really hope that no one else gets this bug.”
“So far, so good,” Aria said. “Charli has pulled out all the disinfectant stuff. We’re fighting the germs one spray at a time.”
Janessa lifted the water bottle in a toast. “Keep up the good work.”
